dd's father lets her down

[ivykaty44]

Oh I want to shout and scream - but I will not. dd asked her father if she could stay this weekend and he take her to her sports stuff. dd usually sees her father every other weekend on a saturday only and has probably stayed over twice int he last 18 months, as she doesn't like sleeping there that much.

So she has just phoned me to say he has canncelled and will I take her to everything instead - of course I will no problem. Apparently he has had to cancel as he must work all weekend instead.

This was arranged last saturday evening that she stay over and yesterday she couldn't get hold of him on the phone, as she wanted to make she he knew all the arrangements.

I have kept stump but she made it clear to me she thinks he is lying and doesn't really have to work all weekend and if dumping her.

I have said well lets you and me go and have a good time anyhow don't worry about any other stuff.

just want to rant as inside I don't like her getting let down and have stayed calm as not add to upset home here

You did well keeping quiet, she can work it out herself, kids aren't stupid. Rant but keep it away from her, she'll make up her own mind.

DD's Dad used to do this all the time, it's soul-destroying to watch. DD gave him chance after chance to be involved with her - she even asked me to get her a guitar so he could teach her to play (he didn't). I did at one point just get to the end of my tether with it and phoned him and gave him an earful about exactly how worthless his ridiculous pronouncements about how he'd 'walk in traffic for her' were when in reality he couldn't be arsed to come and pick her up. It did improve things for a bit, but basically she kept the relationship going and he put in less and less effort.

She doesn't bother to see him any more, and she is fantastic, so his loss. And she seems OK with it, it was her decision. She's 18 now, off to Uni - he probably doesn't even know what her A-level results were.

We went out for lunch as I thought it may cheer her up and said it was a last of the summer holidays treat. I have an older dd and he let her down a couple of weeks ago as he was supposed to take her out for her birthday - a big one and he dumped her as he had his ds form another failed relationship and couldn't take an 8 year old out shopping and for lunch. Dd1 was upset and has to this day not had a birthday present.

I told dd2 that possibly it would be better to not get her hopes up and then get them dashed and in life in general you learn who you can relie on and who you can't and these people come in all shapes and sizes