Toddler calling me names after contact

[geologygirl]

Hi all - not sure if this is in the right place or if relationships would be better, but here goes..

okay so I'll give you brief backstory - my son is 2.5 now and I split up with his dad when he was around 9mths. His dad was pretty much a cocklodger and became violent so I threw him out, lots of harrassment and unpleasantness.

After a year of him not seeing his son (because he refused contact centre), he began seeing him in around April this year. He seems him every other weekend for a few hours. My choice because to be honest I could have waited for him to take me to court with his background and treatment...but I was putting my son first and thinking I should give him some access. I have a fear that my son may grow up and resent me for not trying, so there you go.

Anyway, about a month ago my son started to call me a cunt. I was in total shock, because its not a word I say....my family dont say it and he doesnt watch anything inappropriate etc. So my immediate thought was he is learning it at nursery.

I asked them and they deny all knowledge. Havent heard him or any of the other kids say it. I was unsure but nipped it in the bud by telling him it was a bad word, taking things away. He stopped saying it.

Then the other day after 2wks of not seeing his dad, he seem him. I take him to my parents house afterwards and he starts climbing up the sofa. I tell him to sit down properly and he says "mummy, you're a cunt"...then he says "you're a cow".

So seems to me that it is in fact his "father" teaching him to say this. Just seems too much of a coincidence really, that he has been good as gold & not said these things....but right after contact he is saying it again. He only says it to me as well.

What do i do about this? Obviously I told him off but then felt bad because its not really his fault is it?! I dont really speak to his dad, but should I tell them at the contact centre? WWYD?

Thanks for reading my super long post....

gosh sorry for typos....

Has he been seeing his dad in the contact centre??
I would definitely raise it with them if so.
Does your DS enjoy this time with his dad?

Teaching him it's not a good word to say is all you can do though now he has learnt it. No it's not your DS's fault for saying it as it sounds like hes never heard it before but whenever he says it he needs to be told.

yes he sees him in the contact centre. Initially he didnt really know or understand who he was because he hadnt seen him for a year. I think now he's got to the age where he sees other childrens dads at nursery, so he now "gets it"..that this man is his dad. When i tell him he's seeing his dad he is very happy.

I dont think his dad treats him badly, but he is clearly bad mouthing me directly to our son or perhaps with the other NRPs at the contact centre maybe? Either way, my son is picking up this bad language and its really upsetting. When Im out with him Im dreading him saying it...

I would make your feelings really strongly known, this is completely unacceptable. Poor you. Yes he is obviously repeating something he has heard.

My best friend babysat for me when DD was little and accidentally said 'Shit' - just once - and DD was saying it for ages. It happens. Deal with the bad language and keep supporting the contact. You're doing it for the right reasons and your DS enjoys it.

If he's actually 'teaching' your DS to swear at you he's the sort of bloke who would just love it if you react. Maybe a quiet word with the CC staff would be effective?