help me enjoy my childfree weekends please

[StephenFrySaidSo]

I know I am so lucky to have EOW 'off' however I am really struggling to fill them and spend them either cleaning or sitting in my PJ's MNing or watching movies and stuffing my face.

part of the problem is that I cant ever be sure i'm getting the weekend to myself as EXP sometimes doesn't turn up or he will be late meaning I don't make plans with friends to meet up or go out incase I have to cancel. I have now decided (after it happening this weekend again) that I am just going to arrange babysitters and plan stuff anyway and then if he turns up it's a bonus.

problem 2 is that I don't have a social life or friends who socialise. I have two friends, 1 is a single parent aswell and is even more skint than I am and the other is married and likes to spend her weekends with her DH- also, she never replies when I text so I never know if she wants to meet up.

problem 3 is money- i'm very skint. i'm trying very hard to get more work but it's slow in coming and the bills are fast in coming!

so I would like to have a list of stuff I can do either at home or out and about very cheaply or for free that means i'm not eating my body weight in crisps or watching re-runs of scrubs. i'd also really like to meet people but how when you have no-one to go to things with?

so what things do other LPs do with their free time?

I'm not going to be much help as I'm sat here still in my PJs having done nothing all weekend but I'm in exactly the same situation.

But I REALLY enjoy it and am slowly learning not to feel guilty about catching up on TV/movies/music, reading online newspapers and cooking lovely things for just me to eat. I think of it as recharging time so I'm a better, more patient and well informed mum when the kids come back.

I'll be watching this thread for other ideas though

Would you think about picking up a hobby - swimming, learn the guitar, fitness classes.

Also going to the library (free) .. just to get out of the house.

Farmers markets. Doing a course - even picking up a nice craft like upcycling furniture - start with wooden hangers, move onto more complex things. Baking (er.. but I know myself I eat it all).

These are things I do if I have a free weekend and no plans made.

Is there nowhere you can invite yourself for dinner or your other single parent friend can you not rock up after the kids are in bed with a bottle of wine and have a night in?

I would catch up on myself, read anything you have been wanting to read, go swimming, go out for a drink around friends, have a dinner party but not a formal invited one more a hey what you upto I'm cooking this and that come over sort of thing.

Box sets? Dating websites, decorating?

thank you- yes this is the stuff I need- ideas just to start me off- it sounds so stupid but when i'm sitting here with nothing to do my mind just cant come up with anything to go out of the house for, so I don't get dressed and then before I know it it's dinner time and then evening time and then bed-time. it's so fucking dull.

impulse yes I think I would appreciate it more if I was busier at work but because I am doing so few hours I kind of don't feel any different when the weekend rolls about as I already spend most of my week 'off' work. i'm applying for other jobs so hopefully that will change and i'll appreciate my time off more soon. but I do really want to be doing something with them.

no, nowhere I could just arrive at with wine. single parent friend is very conscious of the state of her house (i'm not- I don't care if I have to drink wine from a saucepan at her house) and would feel really embarrassed if I arrived uninvited and the house wasn't as tidy as she wanted it to be. I invite her round here but she really needs to be in the mood for it and a lot of the time she isn't.

I've done dating websites and ended up just spending a lot of time looking at a screen and deleting emails form sleazy men so I've deleted my profiles.

You need a group of friends really or a hobby or a online course. Something just so its not so bla. What do you like?

I've got a dog so I make sure we go on a good length walk when it's just me and him, so that get's me out, and sometimes bump into people to have a brief chat.

What about volunteer dog walking at your local rescue? Or any sort of volunteering you could do EOW?

i have no clue what i like- I've spent the last 4 years (since ds2 was born) at home getting more and more depressed and hermit like. i cant remember what i did/liked before that. i guess friendships have changed and people have moved away, i left my job so don't have that social group anymore. i'm working again, but by myself (as a cleaner) so i'm applying for employed jobs in shops etc.

www.cinnamon.org.uk/ Volunteer dog walking

Some kind of course that's mostly home studying.
Hobbies - do you knit or crochet/want to learn? Cheap to get started expensive when you get hooked
Online surveys, can earn money/vouchers eventually but takes forever.
Carboot sales - gets you out and gets rid of your tat
Babysit for other people - out of the house plus ££
Exercise - C25K or something similar
Or just MN all weekend in PJs eating crisps

volunteering! great idea thank you.

yeah i knit (badly)- I've recently gotten back into that so that's one thing.

I used to do a lot of online surveys etc. I don't have the time now, but if you do, you can earn money, some of it does take a while to mount up.

I have the same problem, DD away EOW (as long as XH has noting better to do...). Friends are all families or couples and usually busy at the weekend. I either end up on my own, or at a bbq full of families and I am on my own with no H and no DD feeling like a spare part.

swimming is a good thing to do, or go for a walk. or ebay any decent clothes, toys etc.

I work from home a lot as well, so it can be quite isolating and like you say when you are home all week you want the weekend to be a bit different.

Join Ravelry if you haven't already OP. Loads of free knitting patterns and links to tutorial videos, I taught myself to crochet with them. Ask in charity shops for needles, they 'have them on show often because pointy I picked up loads for nearly free.

Have you got a garden? I can lose hours weeding and pottering and I achieve a nice looking garden and also some veg

• Don't have them on show, I meant.

thanks for ravelry link- that is great.

yes to the garden- this is all so obvious stuff- why does my mind not think "i'll go and plant a few flowers in the garden"? my mind just stays blank. useless brain.

thank you all- i think i have just been in a rut for so long.

Ravelry has loads of forums too, lots not about knitting just general chat like MN.

So when you have done active convos to death, just switch tabs to Ravelry and that's another 2 hours lost

I like giving you all these ideas whilst MNing in my PJ's with crap on the telly. I might go and get some crisps

Hi, I am in the same boat. I have tried online dating and at first made plans to go out with friends, but I'm skint and can't afford it (if I have the cash I feel bad about blowing it on taxis and booze). And online dating was so much hard work and stress I don't think I'm ready for that right now.

Its been nearly two years since I split up with XP and now I am finding it easier to be alone in the house (bar the inevitable tears when I wave goodbye to DS).

During the day I mooch around charity shops or go to the council run gym - but thinking of the past couple of weekends I have planned to declutter the house and my wardrobe but end up watching Miss Marple/Columbo/come Dine With Me

A few months ago I took up knitting, crochet and hula hooping, to try and keep busy in the evenings without smoking or wine! Hula hooping is amazing - you need an adult size hula hoop and lots of you tube tutorials but its ace!

Although, having said all that I don't have DS tonight, Im not at work (work in school) and Im watching Hollyoaks with a glass of wine and illicit fag. Feeling miserable and lonely without the usual bedtime stories and shouts of "Need another cuddle!"

Should probably put down the wine and have a quick hula hoop. Sorry not much help!

Love this thread, so useful! I've been alone a year now and often spend my weekends 'off' sitting in pj's drinking wine alone Bridget Jones style!

In all seriousness, I keep thinking about learning to sew, I think a creative hobby could be a good distraction!

" having said all that I don't have DS tonight, Im not at work (work in school) and Im watching Hollyoaks with a glass of wine and illicit fag. Feeling miserable and lonely without the usual bedtime stories and shouts of "Need another cuddle!" "

yes I know exactly what you mean- I stil feel all lost and disorientated when the dcs are away. you think i'd be used to it by now.

I have decided i'm going to start decorating the house, instead of just planning it in my head and i'm also going to teach myself how to play the guitar, which will mean trekking round lots of car boot sales til I find a guitar

My DD's were supposed to be back this morning, but plans changed and they stayed at their dads all day. I was a bit

Then I remembered my good advice and went to to library and the charity shop I have Improving Books, and I got circular needles to knit lovely socks for Christmas for 50p they are £5 minimum in the wool shop where I spent an half an hour fondling wool

I was going to teach myself maths in the holidays too (no, I didn't, I sat in my pj's and ate crisps) but Kahn Academy is fab for all sorts of interesting things.

Ted Talks are fab too, can lose a few hours there and come out a bit more educated

Hi

I know how you feel ..I used to feel that way too but now I love my time. I go to the cinema ( local one not v expensive) ..go for a run round the park ..even when it's the last thing I feel like doing ( ie all the time) - it's amazing how positive and resourceful I fe afterwards. I read the sat newspaper in a coffee shop , go swimming and cook. I sometimes feel guilty for how much I do enjoy it. It took me 4 years to appreciate it though . I never see my friends with DCs though. That would hurt and just feel odd. Good lunch with your new activities. I think you are right. It's mind over matter and forcing yourself in the beginning .

Oh and the other thing I meant to say was..if you can afford one big-ish outlay then I would definitely second the people who say join a class. At my very lowest point ( 6 months after twunt left and pregnant) I joined a pop choir and met a very lovely girl there. Local , single and now one of my dearest friends. There were plenty of other lovely people there too and if you are feeling down , an hour of singing feels great ( even if you aren't a great singer) . They attract a lot of women of all ages. Lots donut by them selves too . Mind had a book club offshoot too. Great place to meet friends.