Ok another advice post from me - sorry 
Im so sorry its long.
I know many of you would love to be in this situation so apologies in advance if it seems insensitive complaining/asking about "too much" help from your ex but there is a back story.
Ex is very controlling and will (and has) frequently used his apparent kind gestures as leverage to point score at a later date so I am nervous with good reason about the amount he is offering to do currently. He has a severe MH disorder and can be a very dangerous man so I do have reasons for feeling extremely nervous, and need some sound advice as to whether Im being unreasonable and need a slap in the face with a wet kipper or am right to be wary etc.
Ok so now Ive hopefully helped to understand the history, here it is. Ex is offering to pay off half of the debts incurred by himself (he peed off leaving me in the shit after racking up a loadof bills that Im still paying off) This is appropriate and Im in agreement with him contributing to these by half at least. But also he has started offering to pay pocket money to my 3 DD (his step kids), to pay for us to go to Center Parcs, to put us up in a hotel recently when I had taken them camping, and basically just trying to throw money that he doesnt have at us, it feels, as a way or keeping some control over us. For example, my girls dont speak to him, are hurt he left us the way he did and causing a lot of damage in doing so. It feels like the pocket money is a way in....We were happy camping, the insistence of him keep calling me and offering a fancy hotel felt like an intrusion, a knocking of my confidence in my ability to look after the kids and just generally him saying "you need me, and my help, you cant do this alone"..
The offer of him to buy me a car/holidays etc is much the same feeling and he has already started with the "after all ive done for you" and Oh you say youve got loads of friends but IM the only one doing anything to help you" lines. I knew he would throw it all back at me and to expect him to use all the "nice" things he had been doing and was wary initially of accepting any help from him but figured as I really need his assistence financially and he did leave me in debt. Also that I had no right to turn down help for my children so on their behalf I accepted whatever he has been offering even though I felt uncomfortable with it. He stole thousands from me and my children and what he is giving back to us currently is just the tip of the iceberg and can never compensate financially or emotionally for what he owes but I feel Im losing my self respect and dignity by letting him swoop in and "help" me then lord it over me making me feel that I should be grateful to him for doing the right thing (and of course above and beyond with the car/holidays etc).
I almost feel like im prostituting myself with the underlined/implied leverage he is gaining with the whole "Ive paid for this/done this for you" being used as leverage for contact with his son. Please advise me honestly, Im still recovering from a very damaging abusive relationship with this man and no longer trust my own judgement. My self esteem is so low and I dont have any RL family, just womens aid and a key worker from SS who all say he is manipulating me 