It's all so daunting!

[Sasquatch75]

I'm a newbie here - my husband of 12 years only left just over a week ago. We have 3 young DCs. I had a couple of ok days last week but since then I suppose reality has hit and I'm feeling awful!

It was all such a shock DH leaving as I didn't realise he was that unhappy. So 2 months after he said there was a problem, he's gone. He's off work with stress and friends think he's confused, although he's made it quite clear to me that he's made the right decision, even though it's killing him leaving the DCs. I don't get why he wouldn't at least try just for the sake of the DCs! It's not like we argued etc! Just didn't communicate properly. He says he doesn't love me anymore but I still think we can get it back. Maybe I'm fooling myself!

He's being good about seeing the DCs every weekend and also (as he's off work) he's had them for a half day this week and next too. I just hope he always has them every weekend as they need it. They're already counting down the days til they see him again.

I'm rambling a bit aren't I! I'm just so sad about it all. Why couldn't he give it another try? When will I stop loving him!! It's going to kill me when he gets a girlfriend!

I didn't want to leave you unanswered. It is very early days and he sounds like he has a lot of things he needs to work out, in the meantime please try and be kind to yourself. If he gets that time to himself he may or may not sort things out but for the moment you have to concentrate on you - get your closest friends around you and do nice things when the DC's are with him. Take one day at a time for now and keep posting.

You can't make it work on your own, you need him to want to as well. Agree it is early days, you will get there. It is hard to get used to a new situation and you will miss him, then you'll start to notice little things that are better (not having to put up with annoying habits, irritating tv choices etc) and you can start to make a life for yourself.

Thanks, yes it is hard to get used to. I think that, more than anything else, is what's stressing me out the most. Realising I'm on my own now with my boys... A few weeks ago I was worrying about how to fill the summer holidays, and now I'm dreading them going back to school! At least I'll still have my 2 year old at home.

Yes, I'm trying to focus on his bad points too, but I still have this awful sick feeling a lot of the time and have lost loads of weight :( I just wish I could have another 'good' day soon...

Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time as needs be.
Make lists to plan your time and give you some structure.
You can and will manage.
Give yourself space and time, and be good to yourself