Uh oh! Please talk some sense into me!

[SnoopyLovesYou]

So... My kids are 7 and 4. Newly (well a matter of years) a single parent. I really am an amazing mother. My kids are strong and healthy and really top of their game. The thing is though- and I need ssomeone to share their own honest experience with me here- I never actually wanted kids.

Now here's the thing- I love my cchildren but... the whole family thing- coming from a dysfunctional family- is still daunting even though I'm already this far on. You see... I never wanted this. And it's so hard! I know lots of people try and try to have children and can't so I don't want to sound ungrateful. It's just that I'm overwhelmed and I don't have very much support. I'm very hard on myself and I find trouble relaxing, feeling that everything is ok. I have trouble with that especially since I'm dealing with some extremely stressful situations right now.

It's just that being a parent is hard. Especially when I haven't been properly parented myself and I'm trying to stay on top of everything. I put on a brave face. Oh I'm very good at doing that!! But inside, I'm bewildered and... well... I think I need a Mumsnet hug ;-)

Holding out a hand of support here. Being a parent IS hard, being a lone parent is even harder! I always did want children, and love my DC very much. But life is difficult, confusing, exhausting, the list goes on. I don't have any answers myself I'm afraid, but you are not alone.

Has anything in particular triggered your post today?

Thanks for your message cats. Just feeling worn out, really lonely and as I've just posted on another thread, I think a long time being in a negative relationship with my ex has left a massive hole in my heart. Also, not feeling great tonight. Thanks for the supportive hand :-) I think I just try, time and time again to take too much on. I can't seem to relax!

I've been looking into Mindfulness, but have neither the money nor to be honest the energy to actually do anything about it. School hols don't help! Hope you feel a bit better soon. Remember that old MN favourite 'this too will pass'

Yeah I'm kind of figuring out that I'm a little depressed. Anybody got any tips for depression? I'm a bit frightened of anti-depressants and don't want to go down that route. Hmm mindfulness...

Well I take anti-depressants they don't do me any harm!

A lot of my friends/family take them and their honest experience is quite negative, along with some pretty awful online tales of a-d hell mentioned here in some Mumsnet threads.

I read a interesting book on depression brought about inescapable stress. It basically said that taking on the depression (really "feeling it, giving in and not fighting it ) demonstrated to your brain that you could get through a day even when you think it's pointless. Eventually the power of depression was lost as you were still standing. I think it's a bit like the 5:2 diet where hunger is a naturally frighting feeling but you get through it.

Don't compare yourself to anyone either.It's a big world and plenty of children do fine in circumstances that would floor most families in the UK.

You can take anti depressants, you are not the same as your friends and family and they may very well work for you. There is lots of research on "resilience" which demonstrates that having a crap life is not indicative of outcomes.

I think you sound a very sensible person. You obviously have a grip on what your issues are and I hope you find something that helps you (hugs).

Oh the a-ds certainly do 'work' for my friends and family but I don't think they would work for me. Anyway, I am feeling much better after chatting to my one confidante the other night (she's not often available!) Feeling much more positive. And the end of the school holidays is in sight!!!! ;-)

Thanks for all the posts and thanks revealall for the hug :-)

Snoopy you could always try vitamin D I take that too now lol can't take any chances.

If you look for the penny sales in H&B you can get one and get one for 1 pm that way 6 months supply is just over £8.

I can't tell if it has helped as I am on the AD's too but that said I feel ok at the minute lol!

Or St John's Wort but I had a bad reaction to those oddly enough.

They are a natural alternative to AD's.

Oh thanks dear Equinox! Will check it out. I take a vitamin c one. Will look for vit D and st J :-)

If you look for the St J Wort try the high strength one I think it comes in 400 mg and you take so many a day.

Some people much prefer it to AD's.

Oh look Cocopops have vitamin D in them! ;-)

I do always find they're a good cure for depression...

Very funny lol.