At last! A positive article about single motherhood...

[russetbella1000]

Haven't actually read it yet so time yet to be disapoointed but just so refreshing to see a positive headline. Of course, this is just another person's experience and everyone's is totally individual and different but I never see anything positive.
So anyway, look forward to seeing a more of a balance where single motherhood is concerned.

It's in today's Weekend section of the Times...Headline: The joy of single motherhood.

runs off to buy it

'The joy of single motherhood.'

I was happy to read that article I must say. I thought it was particularly interesting vis-a-vis being pregnant with no partner. I feel the same shame about being w small children with visibly no man around. It's a horrible feeling! And it's really unnecessary. However the article didnt really focus on her 'joy' as the title suggested.

I know.It still seemed to suggest that it might all be easier with a partner around when that just isn't my experience.What annoys me most is when certain smug marrieds/couples feel it ok to spout how amazing their lives are and it is accepted (whether true or not of course) but if I were to do this people just wouldn't believe it (and nor would I do it-but sometimes...;0).Even though I honestly don't think I (personally)would be as happy as I am with a partner.The dynamics would be totally different....That said I look forward to meeting someone in the future who will enhance our lives but this is not an end point it's an idea I m open to rather than rely on...

Also, she talked about the possible anger her daughter might feel about her dad...Why even give that 'air time'? What I mean is I could project all kinds of things that my daughter may or may not feel the fact is though it is up to her. I have my feelings, she will have hers. I will give her no reason to be bitter because that ultimately will not be fair on her. It's actually society's attitude which takes for granted the idea that children who do not see their dad will be angry broken etc...And yes, as a teacher, I have seen this but it is almost always because there is dysfunction in the family unit/hostility witnessed by the child and often the child is used as pawn in the adults' emotional battle.

My child won't see this and I m grateful-It's something I was acutely aware of when I was pregnant and it's how I based the decision to go it alone very happily.That's a bit smug isn't it?...:0)

She seemed really bitter about her ex actually. It was like she was writing the article in part to name and shame haha. Well he does sound like an eejit and it really is infuriating the way some men think its ok to change their mind about family life. It's a harder option than being single and selfish and so many men (the poor things) become disillusioned and... well... just give up. I'm glad she highlighted the ridiculousness of this. It was funny though that she said she had noone to hand the baby to when she had already told us that she had chosen to move in next door to her mother. That part made me laugh out loud ;-) Hopefully though articles like this will encourage more women to find their 'voice' and not feel so ashamed. This would be great and well overdue!!!!!!!!!!

Indeed. I also hate the 'man bashing type articles' which still put the focus on the man/woman relationship pivoting around the 'baby situation' which I think is pretty dodgy anyway(controversial I know) as I think this can lead to all kinds of emotional blackmail potential etc etc...Yet,of course there are plenty of situations where this isn't the case at all and parents are happily together AND also are happy well-balanced parents to their children.

Would one day just love to read that one of those articles which starts 'studies have found that children from certain single parent situations.....are amazing'...Of course this wouldn't be every situation but this is just it no one situation is ever the same but lazy journalism and 'society in general' do seem to accept the view that single parenthood=dire consequences for all. Just false and not my experience. Feel so happy that I went my instincts, determined to gain my own experience and feel fulfilled in it. And I know there are many others who feel the same we just don't shout about it in RL. :0)

The article beside it was a little ironic. The male perspective- 'lets just have babies because that's what we really want. We can't handle the commitment to a partner so let's just focus on the (easier??) job of raising children in a... relationship with no commitment???'

Think this guy needs to go back to the drawing board. And yet so many men will read this thinking 'yeah.'

I've just read this, thought it she was covering her back a bit by having to go on about how much she loved him, so what if she didn't? I would be really interested to read more about successful co-parenting in more unconventional situations (maybe biased as that is my situation and that of several of my mid-30s friends).

I also thought the comments under the piece online were bloody dreadful. Shame on those posters.

Yep, I agree-why do people go on about how much they loved or didn't love the other person when a child is involved? When a child is involved she/he should be the focus-emotions confuse things & aren't always in the best interests of the child anyway & whose needs should be paramount...Respect (and I include here self-respect on the part of the single parent) is, however, important and is key if the child is to feel loved and secure.

I couldn't see the comments as didn't want to pay subscription but sad if they were negative as your post seems to suggest...
More articles on all kinds of parenting would be positive-hopefully it will give people more choice which surely will improve happiness in general -no-one forced to do anything because they think they don't have choices etc.

On a different but perhaps related note did anyone listen to Woman's hour this week where people had 'come out' to unsuspecting partners and totally turned their lives upside down..?Now I wonder how many of these situations could have been avoided if people felt they could be honest about what they wanted in life? I've never felt pressured by society to be someone or something I wasn't but many people, it seems, do. A more open society with more 'accepted' choices would perhaps mean fewer people living a lie...

who wrote the article? I would like to google it.

Here's the link:

www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/life/relationships/article3838591.

Found under the 'Life' then 'relationships' subtitles..:0)

Anna Wharton is the journalist...

Also for any single dads there was a great piece in the observer magazine yesterday about young fathers and their struggle to be taken seriously. Will try and come back with a link later.