Ex can keep on getting promoted but I can't due to childcare issues!!!

[iwantanafternoonnap]

I am so pissed off I have been offered promotion to Band 6 Sister post in my job however, they want me to be flexible and work weekends. They however, won't tell me how flexible they want me to be, won't state if I can keep similar shifts but will ask if I can get childcare to cover weekends when they can't.

By the way they always will be able to cover as plenty of people and they already have to use bank/agency shifts to fill the gap on the shifts I currently work on. If I had to turn down the post due to child care I would still be doing the same role that as a Band 6 I would do i.e. co-ordinating, triage, resus, Patient Assessment so effectively getting paid less to carry on doing the same with no hope of getting promoted!

Ex has nothing to do with DS and so I have no childcare at weekends. I am currently on the NHS family flexible policy but for some reason they are deciding they are not sticking to this. I just want to scream because he can keep on getting promoted in his job while I stay static and skint!

AAARRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Are you in a union? Could they help, particularly re family friendly policy?

Yes I in RCN and will be getting them involved at the moment I am still trying to tie work down to putting paperwork in but I am getting sent round the houses. Its very frustrating as I actually sat and passed interview in march then then after interview they decided I needed to pass a course which I did in July and now whenever I ask anyone they say they don't know, I asked our admin person who said she wasn't dealing with it and so have emailed HR 3 times and finally got a response today and was told that my admin person was dealing with it!!

I am so pissed off!!!

you have my sympathies.

i am 'lucky' in that my exp has our dcs 6pm friday til 6pm sunday every other weekend and 6pm Tuesday until 6pm Wednesday every other week. the Tuesday night (every other week!) was his offer to help me get back to work

as grateful as i am for eow 'off' childcare responsibilities and for the break i find it infuriating that he considers himself to be 'doing his fair share' when it comes to the dcs when in reality there is very little about our arrangement that is fair. he collects them after he is home from work on a Tuesday meaning Wednesday is the only day he has to arrange childcare for, however my dcs have been visiting his mum EO Wednesday from school pick up til 6pm for the last year or so(arranged between her and I), so he purposely chose Wednesday because he knew, it would mean him only having to do school drop off in the mornings- but guess what, his girlfriend doesn't start work til 10 so she drops them off to school on the way through and Voila! exp has precisely zero childcare arrangements to make yet still feels great about 'helping me out' by having them overnight 1 night a fortnight- and even better, when he wants to have a night out or work late, he just tells me he cant have the dcs and i have no choice but to accept it- fine when i wasn't working- i wasn't risking my job but i am now and i have arranged work specifically so that it is at times when the dcs are either at school or with him, but i cant depend on it and have already had to let people down and risk losing the work. not fair in my book but apparently it's acceptable for 1 parent to have to make all the sacrifices and the other to do exactly as they please.

When my ex buggered off I had to give up my job sister in Nicu because of the nights weekend thing It's just not fair I feel your pain.Ive just finished scphn because of its much more family friendly hours Failing that I've got one word for you ,THORNBURY

whats SCPHN? Thornbury is an agency isn't it?

Its just shit isn't it. we get left with all the childcare and they just swan off and do what the heel they like GRRRR

Sore point here too. ExH has sailed on in his career, is nationally known in his field, allegedly recommended for mbe etc. All because he devoted himself to it at our expense. I have 3 schoolage children and couldn't work enough hours to continue with my career, so I'm stuck doing poorly paid job jobs while he sails on, working all the hours he likes, ditching childcare arrangements at the last moment and being generally unreliable to his family. All in the pursuit of his not-family-friendly career. Which is the main reason why we're not together any more.

I've also just found out he's been underpaying child support (not through CSA but he said he used their calculator to work it out) despite claiming to all and sundry, including dcs, that he pays me "a lot of money" and more than he should.

Irony is that his field is child related and he's in the top 5% of his peers. Been feted by Ofsted, used as example of best practise etc. Just hope all those Outstandings are worth missing out on his own children for.

Scphn is specialist community public health nurse ie school nurse or health visitor training. Thornbury is a really well paying agency they ve always got tons of A&e shifts you won t mind not being promoted because you will be earning more.Im not joking it's been amazing as a newish lone parent.

Yeah I did think of doing health visiting but my friend does it and hates it. Plus she thinks it might not be for me as I am suited to A and E.

However, I might still consider it but the other thing that puts me off is that at the moment I can drop off and pick my son up from pre-school 2.5 days a week and so I get to meet the other kids and their parents.

Oh how I need a lottery win

School nurse for me very varied I have a special interest in young people and sexual health.I do work surronding safe sex emergency contraception.and condoms.Plus health promotion a fair bit of child protection as well.Its taken me a year to get over leaving acute clinical but I keep my hand in through Thornbury On the positive side physically I feel better than I have in years working 8.30 -16.30. Home every morning and evening.weekends Christmas Easter etc off I could have term time only as well if I wanted.Its worth it for a few years whilst my children are smaller once they are bigger and more self sufficient I want to do annp training and go back to acute.I do miss contact with school but I have excellent child minder swings and roundabouts I guess.Also excellent team very happy to cover each other for sports days etc.

I do do a bit of school nursing but couldn't do it full-time as I do like a bit of stress/drama that comes with A and E. I now have RCN involved and have also found out that they have no record of me being asked to interview, being interviewed or even offered the job. Luckily for me I applied over NHS jobs and have a letter stating they offered me the job.

However, I have also found out that one band 6 didn't fill in an application form and was just asked to come to interview and another has never passed her ALS.

Clearly my workplace has some issues it needs to sort out!!