Question for those of you who have a new DP (or have had at some point since ex)

[ForgetfulNameChanger]

I was just mulling things over like you do and although there's no potential DP on the horizon here, I was trying to figure out what id do if there was. And I'm stumped!

After you met someone, how did you find time to see them if you could rarely get a babysitter?
When did you introduce them to children?

I saw him when my kids were with their dad (2 nights a week inc 1 weekend day).
I introduced the concept of him gradually.
I introduced him after 4/5 months, v low key, ran into in town, said hello. Met up with for a couple of hours, went out for the day.
He then started coming over when they were around, then staying over and we are now living together.
Kids are remarkably laid back about it :)

All probably helped by the fact that their dad had been seeing someone for a while, think by the point I introduced DP ex and his GF had moved in together.

Mine originally came over in the evening, when DS was in bed, then left. DS was 1.6 at the time so never saw him at first.

Introduced him after 3 months as there was an unexpected health issue with DS and he wanted to come over to help out as he knew I was pretty much alone support wise at the time, otherwise it would've been 6 months or so but nevermind!

Introduced new DP 3months in. Saw him as and when I could before, quick coffee at lunch times, stay overs when ds was at dads. As soon as they meet they hit it off straight away and are best mates, ds was asking where DP was all the time. Moved in tougher after we had been together for 4 months. 12 months down the line we are planning on getting married. Ds couldn't be happier

Loving these stories, so there IS hope yet

Thanks everybody, its given me hope too. Dd never stays over with anybody and she's always with me so I thought I would maybe have potential dp round downstairs while she's upstairs asleep (she's 1.5) and then gradually introduce (after I've vetted them of course, no randoms round!). Its like a minefield though isn't it because some people have said to me that that wouldn't be right while she's in the house? Its odd because if I had someone female downstairs its okay but when its a man its not?

I think the best way is to have male friends/family a normal part of their life (this doesn't mean hundreds of random men) coming into your home, but coffees with friends, picnics, a walk round the shops, the kind of normal stuff that you do with friends. That way, when you do want to introduce that special someone the dc's aren't immediately on the defensive.