Deep rooted resentment

[oopsadaisymaisy]

Please help me make sense of my deep rooted resentment towards my ds father. I'm feeling it particularly strongly during the holidays. He used to share custody but gave it up a couple of years ago when he met his now wife. He has him a couple of hours a week and allows him to sleep over one night a month but brings him home first thing in the morning. He doesn't have him in the holidays or at Christmas. His family have next to no contact with my child. I fe3l overwhelmingly sad about it and I hold such strong resentment verging on hatred towards my ex. I need to get over it but there's always something there to remind me. Any advice?

Hi
I completely understand. It doesnt seem fair on us or our child/ren, its not what we envisaged. It is very difficult to guard against the resentment/hate/anger.. Im sure a lot of other lone parents feel this way on and off.
Now, I just dont expect anything and just try to plan my own life, build up a support network and the resentment will feel less as you feel better. It is difficult though but you will get there :-) happy mum=happy child, dont let him ruin that..

Be careful what you wish for. It is better to have the peace of a routine and DS in one loved environment that pushed and pulled between two with conflict at every turn.

I don't know what to suggest to stop you feeling this way but its your ex who will lose out in the long run. Your DS doesn't need someone in his life who can't be bothered to be there for him. At least he has a mum who loves him.

DH dad is like that. He's seen DH and our DCs less then 10 times in the 7.5 years we've been together, yet takes DH sisters DC on holiday for Easter and most of summer. It's his loss.

Crazy, that's shit. I feel so sad for my little boy. There's no answer really. I just need to get over it. It's worse during holidays because I know he ll be taking his 'own child' on holiday but won't do anything with his own son. We were together a long time and he had his son 50-50 for a lot of years, so you would imagine a bond was there. Well it was until he met this one and suddenly its ok to let go of his relationship with his child. I often think what kind of woman would want a man who easily gives up a relationship with his own child. It really baffled me. It's very sad.

I often think that oop about the OW but I would imagine she is being told a few porkie pies.

I think the best way to deal with the anger is change your thought process...When you start thinking about how badly he is treating your DS.. think about the bond you do have the things you do...It is the headspace you are giving him that builds the resentment...