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Guilt for letting my 10 month see me argue and scream at newly ex partner

4 replies

Lauralou34 · 05/08/2013 23:00

I am so worried that I have mentally scarred my DD! I can't stop crying with guilt.

I started a new relationship 4 months ago. It was a complete whirlwind romance he was amazing with me and my daughter we went on holiday in our second month! He was saying everything I wanted to hear about the future, and was amazing with Sienna but there were major alarm bells.

His extreme reaction to things worried me, he would be mad about stuff from my past and would make ridiculous conclusions, then go mad at me to try to prove he was right. He would call me unimaginable hurtful names, tell me it's over then grovel and beg hours later. It was a constant roller coaster. Ironically of all the things I was accused of doing he had been the one that was being dishonest.

Last week was the worst week ever for us with us splitting 3 times! During this hellish time of rows and major bust ups my poor little lady was being ignored,not played with and witness to me crying in sadness and frustration. What hurts the most is how she has seen me shout on the phone today out of sheer frustration and desperation to get him out of our life. I screamed at the top of my voice for him to leave me alone and get out of our lives. I have never screamed so loud in my life. The worst thing is that this was in front of DD. Her poor little face was petrified and she sobbed! I can't believe I lost it like that.

Since then she is now screaming in frustration if she doesn't get what she wants in seconds. I was feeding her and turned to look at a text she angrily screamed at me so loud! I think I have taught her that she needs to scream for attention because this evil man has dominated me this week. I had such a happy girl who is now being very angry and not content at all. Bed times are awful, nap times too. She has definitely changed, even towards me, less affectionate and won't look at me when I call her name. Yet as soon as she sees someone else even a stranger her face lights up and she smiles.

I won't take him back but he is harassing me, bombarding me with nasty texts then loving ones, then calling me 50 times in the day. I answer angrily and say listen to my daughter she is screaming for my attention please stop it. But he won't leave me, and I can't have the relationship I want with my daughter because I'm so stressed and angry.

I feel like he is sending me mad and that my daughter hates me, she's only 10 months old.

I can't believe I let this crazy man into our lives, now I'm scared and can't get him out. He is a violent man, but apparently not to women, but I'm not so sure.

He has a son but his ex will not let him see her or his son. He made her out to be crazy but now I'm wondering if there is something more serious going on.

I just need reassurance that with calm restored and me back to myself my daughter will not remember this awful time and will love me like before. Has anyone been through a stressful time that your baby has been affected, yet a few months later has returned to their initial happy good natured behaviour or have i created a naughty frustrated baby for good?

I'm so upset and lonely

OP posts:
Emz8369 · 05/08/2013 23:15

No real advice apart from maybe change your number especially if he is calling you 50 times a day

JumpingJackSprat · 05/08/2013 23:19

You sound as bad as each other. only 4 months in and you let all this happen in front of your child? Next time dont introduce a man and your child until youre sure you arent going to fight like cat and dog, especially in front of her. Change your number and block him.

Lauralou34 · 05/08/2013 23:33

You are right we are as bad as each other that's why I've ended it. I'm not at all proud, I'm disgusted I just hope I haven't done any lasting damage to her.

It's only been this week she has witnessed stuff, but I didn't want her ever to see that behaviour.

I think I might go away for a bit with baby and reconnect and have calmness restored. I don't want her picking up on my stress anymore.

OP posts:
Lackedpunchesforever · 06/08/2013 00:28

Change your number, block all online contact and spend time with your baby. Heal yourself before you hook up with anyone else. Your baby will be fine as long as you don't reconnect with this man or allow any more chaos into her life.

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