ex home and broken court order

[karrie8]

Ok so my ds dad has reagular contact of my two year old son he sees him 3 times a week. In the court order I agreed to go and check his place out before the next hearing. He refused to let me go and when I went over he didnt allow me in. So next hearing we sorted out more future contact like when ds at school etc and it was then again only if I can view place and its suitable if not the overnights would continue at his parents. I went over and it wasnt suitable its one room no floor space to play etc smokey and no suitable place for my ds to sleep so ive said no but obviously contact can continue as before but not there untill he has a suitable place. Anyway he went completly over my head and allowed my son to stay there, even his mum did. Ive had a year and a half of all this me being taken to court stuff first it was false allergations against me then he wanted 50/50 then he didnt, now his mum wanting me to pay for nappies etc but they want access im really fed up with it all :-(

Was the suitability of the location agreed as a condition of the contact order in court?

If so then don't send him again and write a letter to the court explaining why asking for it to be placed on the file.

As to providing nappies ect that is not your problem they need to be doing that.

Thanks for the reasurance, yes its right at the top of the order that mother has to check if its suitable. I feel they have no respect for me its having a big effect on my health at the moment. Im trying to get some work at the moment aswell as ex wont no more so im finding it all a worry and stressful x

Without meaning to sound harsh because that's really not my intention, do you have a friend or family member who could help you write the letter?

You seam a bit like me when stressed out and emotionally connected to the situation when trying to put it in writing it gets all a bit garbled- when I'm stressed I make no sense at all so your doing quite a bit better than me but its still confusing.

Its important that you focus on the suitability as per the arrangement and the other arrangements (his mum) not doing what they said by going against the order (with his collusion).

Or if you already have legal aid from before then you should still be able to carry on using it till it runs out so your solicitor could do it for you

Hi its fine im am mentally exhausted by all this :-)
Yeah ive been in contact with solicitor and they are telling his. Do you think I have to tell the courts aswell :-/
What will happen to me hes the type who will call the police onto me. Sorry im very worried hes told me I be in trouble etc x

He also said he get an independent ajudicator to look at property and I have to do as he says :-( im not even sure what that is. I asked a health visitor to see what they thought and they only can if ordered by courts

Did court define what suitable means ?
Did your ds suffer from sleeping there or did he come back clean fed and happy ?
Thing is, not having floor space might not be an issue if they just sleeping .
If court order just says "suitable " it is open to interpretation unless it defined eg with how much floor space etc..

Smokey yes not good but is that defined in court order?
Is it illegal to smoke n ones home ?

I can see why your ex would he an independent. Person...but court at fault f they putting such a vague wording ina court order....if ex is trusted to look after ds then where they sleep shpuld be his decision? Or have a court or ss or hv visit and decide of is ok ...it is setting you up to get into arguments really as you may have differing views on what is suitable...

If your solicitor is handling it then you don't need to do any thing else.

And he could be in trouble for going back on the arrangement he made in court.

You are unlikely to get into any trouble at all and if he has a solicitor then that's how you should both communicate about these matters he should not be trying to bully you. Are you able to avoid verbal conversations with him and his mum and tactfully keep it to email or text? That way you can just forward any questionable communications to your solicitor.

I've just reread your op and it sounds like his order says overnight contact at his mums NOT at his until this has been agreed at your next hearing.

If that's the case then you have nothing to fret about at all you could even talk to your solicitor about getting the overnights looked at again given that he did not stick to the court order.i would also raise about them being unwilling to provide necessities for your child whilst he is with them.