Ex moving in with his teenage girlfriend how do support my daughter?

[MrsGwizz]

split for my H in December following discovery of his affair with an 18yo (he's 36). He has been staying with his brother since and seeing our 4yo regularly Inc overnights at his brothers. Now he has informed me that he is moving into a place with this teenager and his cousins (a shared house). I am concerned with how my DD will cope with the change, although she has done well so far. We also have a 5 month old who can't stay overnight yet.

I just feel that this girl has no idea what she is getting into, and it's not going to last. Either my daughter will take to her and be devastated when they split or she will resent having to share time with her dad. Anyone else been here, I can't influence the decisions he has made but would appreciate a heads up on what to expect from DD.

your dd will be fine if you are fine; let her talk an discuss with you without asking her twenty quesitons, keep room open for conversations about how ws it at daddy's etc.

people come and go in childrens lives - teachers, friends, your friends might move away, carers,--and yes even dad's girlfriends

so long as you are constant then she wil be ok. dont fret it. deal with it as it happens.

get how to talk etc - it gives some ood ideas of how to deal wit situations

www.amazon.co.uk/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/1848123094

MrsG I have experienced a similar situation with my ex - he is twice the age of his g/f. My DD was 3 when we split, and the g/f had already been introduced to DD. Tbf the g/f is really nice and has been really good with DD. DD gets on well with her and she has stuck around for 5 years.

You can't really do much about the situation other than help your DD be positive and comfortable with her by even if its through gritted teeth being upbeat about seeing her dad etc. Your DD will look to you on how to gage the situation and if you give her the view that you are OK with things, not worried or anxious or upset or angry then she'll be more likely to feel OK about enjoying her time there and liking the g/f if she gets on with her. You don't have to actually like the g/f or the situation but if you can help your DD be comfortable with things, and see that you are OK about this even if its all lies she'll cope better with the adjustment.

That's been my experience and it worked for my DD. I hope it works out OK.

Absolutely agree with both the above posters. It's not fun but it will get easier. Like you say you have no control over what he does and if they split, they split, so just concentrate on giving her a stable happy home at yours.

One thing, is she going to have overnights at the new shared house? I'd be wanting to know about sleeping arrangements.

Agree with the above posts, just be upbeat about the situation and there for her when needed, may I also say after only being split for 6months and dealing with this in this such way is amazing, it is very hard and easy to get wound up but you seem very reasonable about it all and I take my hat off to you, he sounds like a twat.xx

Thanks ladies. I'll just have to role with the punches. Yes smilehappy he is a twat :)