how would you handle this?

[ThisThreadCouldOutMe]

Hi. I'm a regular, but have name changed just in case. If I post anything that makes you know what my regular name is, please keep it secret(unless you want to inbox me and tell me so I know how crap I am at hiding), I don't know if the people involved are mners, and if they recognize themselves I dont want them knowing my usual name.

I have 2 dds, 8 and 6. Their Dad got into a new relationship around Sept last year. He moved in pretty quick, got engaged in October, and they have a baby due soon. She also has a dd (13 and asd, prob not relevant) and a ds.

I recently installed the facebook update on my phone, which means I can now access my 'others' folder. Well in there I found a message, it was a from Feb, so fairly old. It was from a friend of the exs gf, saying she was worried about her as he has had mood swings, slams doors, and messed the house up. Basically the friend wanted to know if this was normal for him.

I replied, apologising for the delay doing so, saying that yes that's what he is like, and that I hope everything is ok.

But now I wonder whether I should have just ignored it? I know my reply has been seen, but the friend hasn't replied.

Part of me thinks that they won't last if he is like this so soon in their relationship (we were a few years in when this behaviour showed, although we had been together 3 years before living together) and if this is the case, there are 4, soon to be 5, dc who will be hurt. (Het dc call him dad)

and the evil part of me that I hate thinks its her own fault for moving in with, and planning a baby with, a man she had just met

I think you did the right thing replying. I only recently found that `others' folder they will understand the delay.
I know my exp has a new gf and I have been very tempted to contact her and a part of me wants a message like yours from her - I also know my exp's girlfriend from before me but only via facebook and have been tempted to send her a message and ask the same question - I will not do either for reasons I can't really give on here. People like your exp rarley change - very sad for all those involved in the past now and in the future.

Thanks :)
I just feel sorry for the dc :(

I think as long as you kept it brief and factual, not ranty ranty, you did the right thing. I wouldn't get any further involved though in case it makes your own dealings with him difficult.

I also feel very similar about my ex who moved on super quick. We are only human!

Oh it was brief! Along the lines of...

"mood swings and slamming doors? Yep sounds like him. Hope she's ok"

Or something like that. I don't want to get further involved, and if the friend messages again I will say that. Was worried I was too involved already!