SOOOO lonely!

[shanelle5]

The title says it all really. Just feeling so lonely for some reason, my children are wonderful company, I have friends and family but Oh my goodness, for the last few weeks all I can think about is how much I miss my twatty ex.
All I miss ifrom the whole relationship is the intimacy, holding hands, kissing, being held and cuddled and of course sex. Just all the stuff nobody else but a partner can provide. And its making me feel so down and lonely Its quite ridiculous as I was actually quite lobely within the relationship at times and Im sure others can relate to that. It just seems everywhere I look is couples walking out in the warm weather holding hands etc and I just ache to be part of that again. When I see old couples it just makes me feel so sad.
I cant ever see me being able to meet someone new anytime soon as my youngest is only 8 months so Im gonna have to suck it up for a year or 2 yet but really struggling at the moment and needed to offload. If youve got this far, thankyou for reading

I understand that feeling. I come home to empty house really tired and happy but then sometimes bang it hits !! I am older than you and have no dcs at home and this isn't our family home but I really don't think about going out to 'find' another partner. I want one to drop out of the sky that is solvent, goodlooking fun and kind!!!

cjel, Id settle for kind in a heartbeat.. I just need a cuddle from a big, tall man and to feel looked after again.
I hate being the one doing everything and having to be strong all the time. Things are so tough for me right now, I just want someone to put there arms around me and tell me its all going to be ok.
Ex DP used to do it but he lied! Bastard

If I could reach you I'd tell you it will be ok. My ex cam up a few weeks ago and although he was abusive in every way I could have hugged and hugged him.I haven't had a proper hug like that from a man in nearly two years, its horrid isn't it?
Sorry to hear things are so tough for you right now, are you ok?

Thats exactly where im at. Ex P was abusive too, not physically but mentally and verbally. I hate myself for missing him, but its not HIM per se, just the intimacy we shared and when I see him each week for our baby to have contact with him, I long for his touch and again hate myself for feeling this way as it makes me feel weak and pathetic.

I think Im just vunerable as I am currently in the proccess of being evicted from our home as I couldnt keep up with the rent payments when he left me at 33 weeks pregnant so Ive lost the house and nowhere to go. Hence my mind playing tricks I think. My key worker from womens aid would NOT be very happy to say the least if she knew I was fantasizing about hugging the tosser, but to be frank Im that lonely Id probably settle for anybody but he just has that familiar smell, do you know what I mean? Thanks for replying btw x

Yep, that smell got to me too, my counsellor said that sometimes a daydream can be helpful as it helps us no to feel trapped..
Sounds tough having to see him all the time, I remember someone saying tome that I was missing a myth and that summed it up for me.
What I was missing wasn't what I had in reality, but we had been together since we were at school and married for 30 years, so some of it was really good!!
No worries about replying, although i have to go to get some sleep as i'm helping at a holiday club at 9am and missed t today as I was sick with the heat and slept most of the day!!!

I feel your pain hunny. its been 6 months. I love my daughter and she is more than enough company but it's the evenings in find hardest, when she's in bed my mind starts to wander and I feel rubbish and miss him so bad.
I don't really have any advice, but your not alone. I hope it eases up for you soon xx

I feel it too

I don't want to hijack your thread, but I was just going to start one of my own

I am getting older and older - will soon be 50

male company, not make (thank you fat fingers)

Me too. warm weekend and everyone else is playing happy families, and posting evidence of it on fb! Exp just dropped dd off which always reminds me how much I miss him but he had to rush back to ow!!

Oh well. nothing beats a cuppa and some chocolate . hmmm.

Now I have to say I don't miss my hhorrible ex. But Id love a nice guy. Trying to find one when you're a single parent is IMPOSSIBLE! Right I'm starting a new thread on how to find nic single men ;-)

Sign me up. I actually just took dd to a supermarket just to have a browse round the aisles and waste some time before her bedtime. How sad :)

I'm soooo lonely too. My ex was horrible denied my baby n left but I'm in need of his touch ouch......actually need to be laid

Lonliness can be very sad sometimes we all need the strong arms and gentle kisses but there is a pretty good reason we not with them so let's hope for the next guy to be better

Id like to report back from my lonely supermarket stroll that i got some shoes i had been looking for for ages in the sale for 15 quid. So every cloud has a silver lining!!

Oh lots more lovely replies - thankyou!
misslaw it is the evenings yes, and that mind wandering is a killer. Desperatley tired but sleep eludes me once I go down that train

amIthathot love your name btw, and I know what you mean by getting older, I look in the mirror and wonder where that tired, jaded looking lady came from. I am 41 and feel like im getting too old for second chances etc. And whos gonna want a 40+ mum of 4 especially with one being a baby!! Also its a new kind of relationship id be looking for now as having kids is out of the question this time around so it takes on a whole new feel

bluebeard Ah the dreaded FB.. Yes I hate looking and seeing all the seemingly happy pics of my freinds on their happy family days out and holidays too at this time of year. All I cling to is the thought and knowledge they are probably not all happy and people always post a veneer on FB. I was actually really lonely IN my relationship as he made me feel like crap but to the outside world, and most likely my FB friends we had a perfect life all were shocked when I admitted it was over and hed buggared off. And ouch to the OW

snoopy is it really impossible?? Oh shit, dont say that! Please do start a thread and count me in! Does anyone lurk on the current dating thread?

buthow I need to get laid too. I think that is the crux. Been a year. gulp,, the strong arms and gentle kisses you mentioned are just what I need. Not the agro that goes with it, the argueing, sulking, and general tosh you get in relationships but holding hands and snuggling up on the sofa would almost do me. Almost. Thanks ladies, I feel better knowing im not alone, I was kind of feeling like a stupid pathetic idiot for missing such an areshole and NEEDING a man, was scolding myself for being so "needy" and weak! But reading others say they have moments of feeling the same makes me feel a bit better about it. I remember reading some time back on here a great thread with all the good things about being single. Maybe we should ressurect that one to cheer ourselves up. Meanwhile and all round xx

Feel for you all ladies, it's pretty crap isn't it! I was on my own for nearly 5 years before I met someone (online).

We don't live together as kids in different schools etc and other reasons and I know I'm lucky to have met someone, but I still envy so much all those families, where the dad/husband comes home each evening, they have family holidays and days out, just someone to bounce ideas off, discuss the day with etc - it is not the same with a dp who isn't the kids dad and hasn't known me for most of my life

for you all x

With you here tonight. Started on POF but a bit out of my depth as haven't even found a babysitter and go out once in a blue moon, so no idea how a date would work. Just really need a hug tbh. Had a let down of a weekend - was meant to go to a concert as a friend had free tickets, but she only got one in the end, so the one time I had a sitter (my dad!) I couldn't even go out, she cancelled on me today as well when she was meant to be helping me make DD's cake so I spent the day doing it alone and didn't speak to a soul until I picked up DD from nursery. Dad also decided to tell me he won't be at DD's birthday (He's our only family and I don't drive so no idea how to get the cake to the park) and the person who won my ebay item hasn't paid for over a week so I have £70 less for DD's party than I should have. Having a little pity party over here tonight.
Anyone else want some ?

Oh lion sounds like you had a truly crappy weekend! ((( ))) for you, hope today is better. I know what you mean with POF as Im in the same situation re no babysitter and dont actually know how often id be able get out tbh
Sounds like you need new friends if the one you had let you down twice in a short space of time.
Ebay is a lifeline for selling to buy new stuff, I sold a load of my elder DC outgrown clothes the last fortnight and once the funds had come in I used them to buy a pop up tent for me to take them away a few nights over the summer. Cheapest holiday I could think of! Have you reported it? I really hope you get you rmoney soon, best bet is probably message them one last time giving the rest of the day say, to respon and if not quickly do a last chance offer to the next highest bidder so there is still a way to get your money soon-ish? How old will your DD be?

Thank you! Yes, she's not the most reliable friend I have, she just doesn't seem to realise what an emotional rollercoster it can be to be let down at the last minute when there is no one else to talk to!
The buyer asked me to wait until payday as they couldn't afford it and I had to wait 2 days anyway to start a resolution centre case. Now I have to give them 4 days to pay up as it is the only way ebay do it, I don't get an option of 2nd bidder it seems. Not v. impressed that the seller does everything right and anyone can muck you about for 6 days before you can relist! But think I was just unlucky. DD will be 2 so should be a fun and energetic one!
Have a friend and her child over today for a play date and then the let down friend is meant to be over later with wine....we will see!
Hope you are feeling happier today too :)

I am going for the prize for the most undatable woman: been a lone parent for 13 years and not a proper date for over 7.
I am not far off 50 and as such my best years are behind me. I get so lonely it physically hurts but I have to say, I know of only one other woman who is long time single. Most divorced women I know find someone in a few years, many much sooner.
Don't give up hope as it is only the undatables like me that are truly hopeless cases

Hey again Shanelle! No it's not impossible. It was me who started the thread about being a happy single parent. I'm glad it was appreciated! :-)

I have started this other one and I am learning lots of ideas about how to come across more available fit men. It's great! :-) There's hope for all of us, including you Shiny Black shoes! Think we all just need a bit of confidence and positivity.

:-D

shiny that is a long time, do you mind me asking what you did - if anything, when you were proactive in looking for a new relationship? Did you try online dating, gym etc and just not find anyone? Would you consider joining match etc now ang giving it another go? Truly, you are NOT undatable, I can tell that by your posts you are a kind, friendly, lovely lady and Im sure there must be many a male who would welcome you into their life (read bed )
And nearly 50 is no age these days, please dont give up, use this thread to get new ideas and maybe put yourself out there and try again? And please dont call yourself undateable again, there's no such thing! How old are your DC? xxx

Shanelle5. I tried a number of online sites and always contacted people, had a good few conversations and met a few guys but nothing beyond a first meeting: which never went that well sadly.
When I went to the gym, I was friendly and said hi to people there but behind hello back, that was all I ever got.

I really don't know what I do wrong as a few friends have told me they have no idea why no one wants to date me. I have tried a few social things with various groups too, but again, no luck.

My kids are over 18 and I have brought them up pretty much alone for the past 13 years so time for myself has been tricky to find but it is easier now.

I have to say it doesn't sound great when you have to admit to not dating for years, and I am sure that would put guys off; they must wonder what is wrong with me...I know I would (and do)

Our confidence can take a beating Shiny Black shoes. I'm sure you'll be all good again in no time with a bit of tlc :-)

Sometimes well meaning friends saying things like "Oh you won't be single for long, look at you!" or going on about how nice people "like you" always get someone in the end is a bit worse than not saying anything. I have had loads of comments like this over the last year or two and every time I think it actually makes me feel worse. It starts to feel like you are wasting time and if you don't find someone then it can start to make you a bit bitter. I wish my friends were better about introducing their male friends to me and other singles. Sadly the ones who still have decent single men hanging about seem to mostly be single themselves and want to keep them for a back up if they don't find their own Mr Perfect. I can understand that as we all know how hard a decent man is to find, but it can be quite depressing.

Lion hi. Yeah that is actually true! Women can be quite competitive with guys! Even friends can be selfish like this. It's a real shame! When I go out on a night out I'm always surprised by how competitive some of my friends are. Any idea of solidarity goes out the window. So sad!