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Original poster

Registering the birth

10 replies

laura0007 · 23/07/2013 17:36

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and the father of the baby has decided he wants nothing to do with either of us. Which is really upsetting and I feel for my baby having no father in its life but I've decided I'm not going to go through the CSA as I don't want anything from him.
My issue is when I go to register the birth after the baby is born can I put him as the father on the birth certificate if he isn't there and we aren't married?
Will he have to be there? What will happen if he isn't, will it go down as father unknown?

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ThedementedPenguin · 23/07/2013 17:38

He needs to be there in order to register the birth.

I'm not sure what the birth certificate will say but he needs to go with you in order for his name to go on it.

ArgumentativeAardvark · 23/07/2013 17:38

It'll go down as father unknown I think. My own mum was in similar circumstances and that's what it says on my birth certificate and its never caused any problems/issues.

bluebeardsbabe · 23/07/2013 18:56

I was in your situation about 9 months ago. The father was not there and so he is not on the birth certificate. However, the space if left blank, it does not say father unknown anymore. Your DC can add his name when he/she grows up if they so wish.

I know it feels horrible not having the fathers name on the birth certificate but in hindsight it was the best thing for us, even the registrar advised not to force him to come and add his name. I now have a lot more control over mine and dd's lives and believe me, I am so glad of this!

Good luck.

TruJay · 23/07/2013 21:09

To put the father on the birth certificate he has to go along with u, even if u were together and he just couldn't get it off work for example u still wouldn't be able to put him on if he wasn't there.

My dad isn't on my birth certificate and it just says unknown, I know exactly who my father is and have met him, he has just never been interested in seeing my brother or myself. My mum didn't put him on as she didn't want him being able to suddenly come and claim us, not that she ever had that to worry about, he never gave a monkeys!

I understand this is absolutely none of my business but I would reconsider the csa, u didn't make your baby by yourself and babies do cost a lot so something to think about. It's a regret my mum has, my dad used to earn 2grand a week back in the 80s and he once suggested he would be willing to pay £15 per month in maintenance and that's not each, that was for the pair of us! My mum just wishes she'd have given his name to csa and she would have gotten some real financial contribution

betterthanever · 23/07/2013 22:09

It is just left blank as my exp refused to go- as another poster said it used to say unknown but it doesn't say that any more.
If the father is on the birth cert he has equal rights to you regarding the child as he would then have what is known as `parental responsibility' which is a right not a responsibility which is a joke and even if he was to only turn up in 10 years time he would still have those rights which could cause problems for DC and you.

Original poster
laura0007 · 24/07/2013 09:09

Thanks. That's given me a lot to think about.

OP posts:
Droflove · 27/07/2013 22:54

My husband registered our baby's birth without me there. I could also have gone and done it without him present.....so I would think you could put him down if you wanted to, no?

LalyRawr · 27/07/2013 23:00

No Droflove. Your husband could register without you because he is your husband. You could register without him because you are his wife. If you were not married you could not do that.

If you are unmarried then the father has to be present. If he isn't, then the space will be left blank.

IneedAsockamnesty · 28/07/2013 12:09

As the others have said as you are not married then without him being there (or signing a declaration of paternity) then he cannot be on it, and yes these days its left blank.

Its not a bad move to not have him on it due to the legal rights being on it gives him he could cause you all manor of complications.

However if he changes his mind in the future you can agree to sign a form giving him pr or he can take you to court and let a judge decide if he should have it or not most dads like him won't bother.

You can go to the csa without him being on the birth certificate

rainbowfeet · 28/07/2013 12:20

Exactly as above (sockreturningpixie)

So glad they have stopped the 'father unknown' as that is awful & at such an emotional time would have upset me!! Hmm

The blank space is very apt as the wanking toss bag that is my ds's dad is exactly that in our lives!!

Good luck with the pregnancy & birth I've been there & done it (ds now 17 months) Smile I won't lie it is tough at times especially the 1st few weeks but you will soon be in a routine & enjoying the special LP bond with your dc Grin

This site is fab for advice & support... Grin

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