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Advice please... Court tomorrow!

8 replies

mumof289 · 23/07/2013 12:30

I have a court hearing tomorrow for a non mole station order on the babies dad. Due to the threatening behaviour he has had towards me and my family on social networks, domestic violence, and abusive threatening texts from when it all was going on in April. He has also tried to kill himself twice. If I get the non molestation order how does that affect on child contact arrangements? I have stopped him from the seeing the babies due to the domestic abuse and his mental health. He is currently under going therapy, or so he has told the social worker involved. Social worker has been very very helpful with the whole situation. He says on his Facebook that he is making preparations for court over the babies? Yet myself, my solictor have bad no notification of it!

Anyway, I'm absolutely terrified for tomorrow. I have asked my solicitor for screening so I don't have to see him cause I won't be able to face him. I'm terrkfied of him and how he's made such an impact
On my life. I've had to move in to my mum and dads because I'm too scares to go out. My dad has to do my shopping for me! Any tips for tomorrow? I've
No idea what to wear either.

Please help!

OP posts:
mumof289 · 23/07/2013 12:31

I know clothes are the last thing on my mind right now haha! But I don't want to go in a summery dress and look silly if you get me.

Just want him out of my life for good!

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 23/07/2013 12:38

Hi, ok well if it helps at all, the proceedings will be quite informal and in private (I'm assuming that this is just in front of a District Judge in the County Court). You will all be sitting around a table in a private room, with the District Judge at one end, then you and your solicitor facing him and his solicitor.

Cafcass/Social Services will be at the other end of the room, and generally they're there to observe unless they are examined on any report they've already filed.

You could ask the court usher beforehand if there's any way of your not having to sit opposite him but as you will both be giving evidence, that may not be practicable.

The judge will already have read your statement and probably a statement from your ex, so will already be aware of the main issues.

Often in these cases, the man is all bluff and bluster until it comes to going into the court room, and then agrees to sign an undertaking not to go near you. Then all that needs to be arranged is the arrangements for contact, and going on what you've said I suspect that the judge will order that contact just takes place at a contact centre under supervision for a few months until things have cooled down.

Be prepared for a long wait, and also for going into court, being adjourned whilst the solicitors try to broker an agreement about contact, and then going back in to get the judge to rubber stamp the arrangements.

You need, therefore, to arrange childcsare for most of the day if not all day, even though the time estimate may only be half an hour or so.

Wear something cool and comfortable. Not all court rooms are air conditioned. I suggest you wear a smartish pair of trousers or shirt in black, grey or navy, a plainish blouse or t shirt and take a cardi or jacket just in case the air con is working overtime.

Good luck!

mumblechum1 · 23/07/2013 12:39

skirt, not shirt!

mumof289 · 23/07/2013 13:13

Thank you! It's just for the non moleder tomorrow not child contact! But he says he has a date for court and things just not had it yet. Will I be questioned for the injunction?

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 23/07/2013 13:34

if contact is mentioned justt offer supervised in a contact centre then let cafcass organize that

mumblechum1 · 23/07/2013 14:00

Hi, yes, but the non-molestation order will usually also have to cover contact issues, ie he may not have any contact with you other than to handover at the contact centre.

You may be examined (questioned) on what you've said on your statement but tbh his solicitor will, if they're any good, advise him not to make himself look worse than he already does, and to simply sign the undertaking, which binds him to behave himself. If he breaches the undertaking he will probably go to prison.

mumof289 · 23/07/2013 14:53

If I get the non mol order there is a power of arrest attached to it I know that, but I thought with undertakings; that if he breaches that then it will be referred back to court and an injunction would be put in place then?

I just want a normal life with the safety of knowing he can't come near me or the babies. An undertakings wouldn't do naff all .. Not just for my piece of mind either!

OP posts:
mumblechum1 · 23/07/2013 18:07

Yes, the bottom line is exactly the same; you have protection, which is enforceable by imprisonment whether you go via the undertaking route or not.

Your solicitor should really have talked you through all this, to be honest.

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