changing contact arrangement

[HamsterDam]

my ds sees his dad every week all day on a Saturday and overnight about every other week.
next year he will be starting full time school so if he has him every weekend i will just be left with the daily grind of school drop off and pick up tea and bedtime. so im thinking of suggesting he has him every other weekend then pick up and tea one or two nights a week but this will probably mean him moving closer as he lives a 30 minute drive away, he doesn't drive and public transport links are not very good.
does that sound fair?
i know its a way off but im thinkin of telling him now so he can look at his options for moving if he wants to.

Sounds fair to me, if your ex agrees.

My ex has the dc (8 and 6) every Sunday, plus overnight every other Sat night. It means I never get a full weekend with them :(
I've asked him to change but he won't

thanks for replying.
just doesnt seem fair for me to deal with all the drudgery wit no real quality time while he gets fun weekends.
he can disagree if he wants but the decision will be in my hands. nervous about talking to him don't think he will like it but at least if i give him plenty of notice he can have options

I agree. It's not fair. good luck!.

And I agree, tell him what you think and why, then try and come up with a solution together.

It sounds workable. Most people do tea time in the week then Friday from school to Sunday early evening for the every other weekend, its quite normal to rejig arrangements once dc are at school, as he could also have part of the school holidays as well. He wouldn't need to move if hes only 30 minutes away and wouldn't mention moving as its not necessary and might make him reject your ideas if he perceives you are trying to tell him what to do.

thanks labro. its 30 minute drive which he doesnt or 2 buses one into town then another near to his house with abit of a walk his end. depending on the time you have to wait for the bus in town whole journey can take an absolute age they are rubbish in the evening.
guess i will just say contact changes in 14 months time overcome the obstacles however you see fit.

the decision is not entirely in your hands. it is for you and dad to discuss and agree upon as the child's parents. one parent does not have automatic right to make all decisions

I think it also depends on who moved away, so if he moved after the split maybe it's ok to suggest that, if it was you, the not so.

If he has all day Saturday every week and sleep over occasionally then you still get sat Eve's and Sundays to do what you want. Does the sat he does involve a sport or club as well?

We've always done alternate fri night and sat night, with flexibility built in if needed. So one week fridaytea to sat tea,drop off at 5:30pm, following week sat 5:00 to Sunday 5:30. This weekend my DH and DSS have been to an air show so he was with us from thurs eve through to last night.

he moved away. obviously we will have to discuss and be fair. it will be flexible like it is now we came to the arrangements ourselves its not court oordered or anything.
thanks for the advice