Contact centres and residence orders

[Poll32]

Hi, does anyone have experience using a contact centre? We went to one yesterday and my son met his dad there for the first time in over a year. The annoying thing is that my son (who is 3 in August) knew his dad and ran over to him. I felt awful leaving and cried. I guess, it will get easier assuming the dad sticks to the deal. Does anyone know how long you can use them for?

Also, does anyone know how I can get a Residence Order?

They are normally in Churches, I as well feeling very sorry that it had to be in a contact centre. It depends on what the Judge wrote down in the order the length of time in the CC. I think that you yourself don't need a Residence Order as you are the full time parent with main care I take it?

I self referred to the contact centre so no judge involved. I am the main carer, but if my son (a long way off in the future) were to ever go his dad's for the afternoon, he could easily turn around and say he's not bringing him back and I wouldn't have a leg to stand on. However, I would if I had a Residence Order.

Your son is 3 years old so the Father has automatic Parental Responsibility, As you both do in Law whether you were married or not. So if he did not return him after a contact visit, It would be hard to dispute it. It would be better to cover yourself and get a court Order stating the contact arrangements that clarify he does not have overnight contact. That way if he does not return him he will be breaching the court order. Or if not wanting to go down the court route ( very long and drawn out) see a solicitor and get it down in writing.

we have been using contact centres for the last few months. this has been arranged through the courts though. the only way to get a residence order is through the court and they would only give it if you have a good reason I.e. ex has threatened to abduct child. the positive thing is that you said your son recognised and was happy to see his dad. I'm not sure how long you can use them for but its not usually permanent. my ex was having supervised contact but now moved onto supported so he is on his own but not allowed to leave centre , the next stage will be unsupervised in the community which I believe is the pattern it follows in most cases unless something serious happens along the way. are you using a contact centre because your ex was/is abusive?

My DP was forced to see his DCs in a contact centre by his XW. It took months to go before the magistrates and as the legal advisers at the directions hearings had no power the XW just kept saying she would only allow access in a contact centre. This place was awful. Myself and DP went there every week and each time I could have cried for the DCs. Even the staff there told XW that her children should not be in there. DD1 told her mum it was ok there but absolutely hated it and 12 months since the magistrates put a stop to it she still worries that she will have to go back. The court know which people need these places and I'm sure XW regrets it because she lost on every single point in court and CAFCASS told the magistrates that she had used it as a weapon. My point is that if your DCs don't absolutely need to be there do not use it. It is a service which should be used to protect children and not used to punish your XP.

i would also like to point out that if your ex failed to return after contact or even picked them up from nursary/school without aggreement and you had a residence order you would still need to go back to court for the court to order the return of your child.
Also if you apply for a residence order you run the risk of the court ordering an order not in your favour!! they are not just handed out because you feel you want one. TBh if you can work with your ex with court orders your child will be better off without having to be interviewed all the time in later years and also will cost a fair amount down the years to keep getting them changed.

Do you have an exp or exh? if you were not married and your exp is not on the birth cert he would not have PR.