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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

irresponsible fathers (ex husbands)

7 replies

jellytot1 · 30/06/2013 17:49

My ex is back in children's lives after 2 years of working/living abroad. My teenage son loves being at his house and is spending more time there than at home. I haven't wanted to stop this as he's old enough to make up his own mind but I recently discovered he is keeping him off school for any little ailment when he stays there and he has been letting him drink alcohol to the extent that I found out a few weeks ago when he was there that he had to be put to bed he was in such a state. He also came home with a black eye and graze on his face which he lied to me about and told me it was from playing about but was fro the same night. My younger two on the other hand don't want to see him as they say he shouts at them a lot (was witnessed by someone who knows us). I've just had a blazing row with my oldest about his father and I don't know what to do from here. Any advice please would be great and apologies for the long post.

OP posts:
FacebookAnonymous · 30/06/2013 18:20

How old is your teenager?

jellytot1 · 30/06/2013 19:09

He's 14 and a half.

OP posts:
queenofthepirates · 30/06/2013 19:22

I think, in view of his age, that you need to have a quiet word with your ex and calmly explain your concerns. Your DS is almost old enough to be making his own choices as an adult and will no doubt feel more grown up than he really is so laying down the law is unlikely to work. Be smart and approach it with stealth.

jellytot1 · 30/06/2013 19:33

Thanks for your advice it's very much appreciated. I did try the quiet word yesterday but didn't get anywhere, not even an apology or an assurance that it wouldn't happen again. I have now also had a word with my son and explained to him the affects of alcohol. I know that he's a teenager and he's going to experiment but I don't think a parent should be encouraging it in that way. His father doesn't see that he does anything wrong. I am at a loss with this.

OP posts:
gruffalosmother · 01/07/2013 18:51

I would have thought giving alcohol to a 14 year old is child abuse. I don't thiink.id want my child to see their dad if that was going on. must b hard for you though as you say, he's almost old enough to make up.his own mind. I have a 14 year old brother and he's just a child really. might be worth getting legal advice.

jellytot1 · 02/07/2013 18:44

His father informed me yesterday that he's going away to work again in 3 weeks. While I'm relieved about this unfortunately my son obviously isn't. He just thinks he can flit in and out of they're lives when convenient for him. I will be seeking advice on everything from my solicitor as the situation as a whole for all of my children isn't ideal. I'm worried about the long term effects on them.

OP posts:
LouiseSmith · 03/07/2013 17:49

There is a reason he likes being at his fathers house and its because its an easy ride.

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