Why do they do this? What kick does it give them?

[AmyFarrahFowlerCooper]

My ex offered this week to increase maintenance by £3 a week. Sounds like a pittance I know but I was going to use that to put towards buying a book a week or crayons and paper etc. Told me to remind him midweek (I did, no response) and I've checked today and he hasn't done it. He hasn't answered the phone when I rang or replied to my text (not a nasty text, just asking what happened with it). He was obviously dicking us about AGAIN and looking back now I can see it timed with him needing someone to talk to and I chatted to him after we had arranged this because I felt obligated so am wondering if its related to that.

I just feel so fucking stupid for believing him. He was saying about seeing dd as well (its been four months now) and so that will be bullshit too.

I'm panicking now too because he is talking about going to university in 2014 and promises he will still pay maintenance even though students don't have to. But he isn't going to is he? So now I'm worried about that!

Why do they do it? :(

feel for you AFFC, that £3 would have brought such little ray of happiness in the tiny way that you were going to use it - please continue to feel good about yourself as you are evidently doing the very best that you can in providing for you dd.....they are arse's and sorry to say often not think about the consequences of their actions (which is of course we we are lone parents in the first place)....but stay strong....and don't worry what might be, just stay focused on the here at now - worry is simply wasted energy.....hope you have a good weekend
x

Thank you :) I think its part of a game he's playing because he's rang with his excuses and promised he will start it next week. I'm going to do what you say and not worry about. If its there, great and ill buy some bits but if its not there then it just confirms he's being mean again. Hope you have a good weekend too :)

You can and will provide for your child without his help I promise. I saw my friend do it and now realise what a strong lady she is. She retrained for a good career and managed and her daughter is lovely. Her ex was a perpetual student. Have you been in touch with the csa to do all this formally instead of just trying to negoitiate with him? He sounds like an arse. £3 a week??? Is he unemployed? He needs to get a job if he has been grown up enough to father a child. And PROVIDE for that child. I dislike him and I have not even met him!