Help me!

[Raaraathenoisybaby]

I am a lp to two dds who are 7 months and 3. I have just cried at another thread realising how bogged down with housework and other mundane jobs I am when I just want to play with them.

I feel like I need to drastically change my routine somehow or dd1 will look back on her childhood and wonder if I ever played with her.

Please impart some wisdom about how you keep in top of it all but spend quality time with your dc?

I can do it if we go out but dd1 has a playroom full of lovely toys and wants to spend more time at home - why wouldn't she! She begs me to play with her and I so for minutes at a time worrying about putting the washing out.
Dd2 takes a long time to settle. I have given up even trying to watch tv (far from the end of the world) because it takes all evening I have left to sort out downstairs.

Any ideas?

Do they see their dad? I find I let things slide when we are together and on Sundays I try and do a proper tidy and hoover.

Other days I just concentrate on washing and cooking. And bin day. The place is a bit of a mess but whatever, basically.

Clean the bathroom when they are in the bath, also maybe sort washing? Don't know how feasible that is with 2 in the bath.

I tell ds, nearly 3, "I will play x with you and then I'm going to hang out washing." Then, "Ok I'm going to do the washing now, do you want to come or stay here?" If he comes I ask if he wants to give me pegs or pick flowers / water plants etc.

When ds was awful in the evenings I used to listen to podcasts on earphones, so atleast you get a bit of down time and distraction, even if its while attached to them!

No usefull ideas but this too will pass.My children who are 9,9,and 8 constantly nag at me to play with them okay it's easier to explain to older kids but the guilt never leaves.When mine were tiny I was exhausted constantly so I feel your pain.

if you feel that you can take time to play with them if you're out why can't you when you're at home? I think this is the question you need to find an answer to because its probably the key to you making things work best for you.

Do you feel because you're at home you should be doing housework? (this is how I felt to start with) if its that then you need to give yourself 'permission' not too for a set period of the day, say one hour in the morning and another hour in the afternoon. Make yourself sit down and play with the kids and not think about the jobs that need doing, to start with it'll be hard but in a short while you will retrain your brain and you'll stop feeling guilty about it.

Do you go out to avoid the housework and therefore things are getting on top of you? (my sister did this) in the end she closed some doors and pretended rooms or cupboards she didn't need every day weren't there for a bit and she focused on the things that had to be done and she did them in short bursts of a set time each day. she started at 15 minutes a day and built up as she saw results.

Is it another reason? working out the reason is the start i think.

In general though can you involve the children in doing some jobs? my two year old loves washing up so she washes plastic cups and plates while I clean the kitchen. My five year old likes the noise the vacuum makes so she does the best she can at vacuuming the floor while I tidy the toy boxes. They both love being the first in newly made beds so they help strip them before i go around making them and they play under the duvets while I do the others and they think it a big game but I'm getting stuff done.

Good luck with it all because it isn't easy but try to remember that some things we think are jobs kids think are fantastic games