new partner and ds advice please.

[mummybear2010]

Question - I split from my ds biological dad 2 and half years ago. In that time he has only seen his son once and that was 2 years ago, the door is and will always be open for him to be part of his life. However, I have met someone else and been with him for 7 months, we have only ever used his name for my son to call him by and that is how it has been. Past 2 days my son has turned round and said 'poor daddy' when my partner was getting him dressed and then today ran to the door shouting daddy daddy daddy when my partner came in. I have kind of brushed over it and not drawn major attention to it as didnt know what to do or say to my son he is only 30 months and doesnt know his biological dad at all. What would you do or say? I'm in 2 minds at the moment as i am sure you can imagine and didnt think i would come across this until my son went to school or was older. Thanks xxx

Tricky. But if you are leaving the door open to his father, then it's probably best he has another name for your partner. My dd calls dp by his surname with ie at the end (can't tell you what it is as I'd out myself). It's her pet name for him and only she uses it and he likes it, and says it's special because she came up with it. I know others may say father is no father and he's lost the right to the term but I'd rise above that if you can. Think about the explanations that will inevitably have to be made when your child is older.

so how to i correct this now then as i don't want to tell my son off or do i ignore it for now. I am not sure where he has got it from as we always refer to him by his first name and the only experience he has of daddy is when i call my dad dad and daddy pig from peppa pig x

if your partner is ok with it and its a serious relationship then id let him carry on.

You don't need to tell your DS off to correct it at that age. Just repeat back what he's said to you but calling your DP by his name (or whatever you want DS to call him) He'll pick it up.

I wouldnt, just correct him like you would if he called your Mum Nanny instead of Gran if its not her title.

He has already lost one Dad who might potentially return and what if your relationship isnt forever, he stands to lose another.

I've seen it far too many times over the years

Think of a special name like Num said.

Your son shouldn't be calling someone you've been with 7 months dad. Just gently correct him when he does it. Have you moved this bloke in already? It all sounds very quick.

One sleep till wembly you are sounding very judgemental - I have not moved him in and if you read the post I am shocked by it. I have not told my son to call him dad nor have i let my new partner take a massive role in his upbringing. My new partner does not spend the night nor do we kiss infront of my son the most affection we show is holding hands and he comes out with us on day trips etc. I am not stupid and i have made sure my son is protected as i can make him.

Like Purpleroses says, I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, whenever he says it just a gentle no that's so and so, and leave it at that. I'm assuming your son knows that dp is not df. My dd asks to call dp daddy sometimes but we just say no he's but he loves you just the same. She's quite ok about it, not a big issue for her, more for us adults I think!

I have never brought it up to be fair my son was too young when we split and as my ex hasnt bothered i have never said anything. just introduceed my oh as this is mummy's friend ... as i said before he hasnt stayed over so as far as i was aware thats all ds thought he was x

My son accidentally called my partner daddy recently by mistake - totally freaked me. I just put him straight. Hoping it doesn't happen again.