Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Cancelled CSA claim.. Not wimping out!!

5 replies

rainbowfeet · 05/06/2013 11:22

Just a nothing post really.. Hoping someone understands as in RL nobody does..
My son is 16 months his Dad has never so much as acknowledged him, will walk past us in the street!! First few months I hoped he would mellow a bit & come round to the idea!! (He didn't)!! A few months down the line I went through an angry stage & put in a claim to the CSA... This causes a very angry response from him, the 1st time he has spoken to me in nearly a year!!! He was very abusive told me he hoped all along I'd miscarry as when I didn't he hoped the cu@t of a baby died!! He didn't want his other kids & family to know about ds so he'll never accept him!! He fought the CSA too, denying parenthood, ignoring their calls etc.. At the beginning of the year we did a DNA test (mortififying experience) it all got to the stage of a deduction being made from his wages .. I knew from the start he would pull this stunt because his employer is his friend!! But low & behold.. He hasn't earned enough to make s deduction!!!!!
I used to work in a small business like he does I know how easy it is to pay someone part cash in hand!!! The CSA say I can't prove it & he might have been off sick etc... I know different because we are neighbors I see him go to work everyday!!! Anyway.. This leads me to the decision to cancel the claim... Not because I'm scared if him but. Because I don't want the stress anymore, & mainly I think if he can go to such lengths to avoid paying then he can stick his money!!! I've managed so far. & I will struggle on!! At least I don't owe him any loyalty & I can proudly tell my ds I did it all by myself!!! Plus canceling the claim will be the last move he's expecting, so I still feel in control!!

Does everyone think I'm crazy??!! Shock

OP posts:
rainbowfeet · 05/06/2013 11:23

Sorry to ramble!! Wink

OP posts:
Smilehappy · 05/06/2013 11:36

My ex went to a hassle of dodging CSA but 2 years down the line I am now receiving payments - and backdated payments too, from when I first claimed! So, I reckon you should keep at it! Confused Then say to your child I asked for his help but done it myself.... FYI CSA won't tell him you have cancelled his claim they just won't contact him so you feeling in control will be in your mind only Hmm He helped make your child's life so he should pay... What a scummy man, honestly how disgusting, it must rage you!!

If he refuses to pay csa they can arrest wages, obtain driving licence, many different things. So don't cancel your claim, just forget about it, until money starts coming your way! After all I reckon it's a small wage to pay comparing to your contribution to your child's life.

All the bestThanks

fuzzywuzzy · 05/06/2013 11:42

I wouldnt cancel it, the claim will be back dated whenever he surfaces financially.

I'd periodically keep calling the CSA.

Its the principle, he has a child with you, its your childs right.

Sparklypinknails · 05/06/2013 15:30

Don't cancel it! He might not always be working for a friend who can fudge the numbers for him.

honey86 · 06/06/2013 21:13

sick b#%$d! how could he say such a awful thing about an innocent baby Angry

New posts on this thread. Refresh page