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Original poster

DONT KNOW WHERE TO START SINGLE MUM TO BE.........2 KIDS UNDER 5

19 replies

mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 13:32

Hi all, I am out for some advice for my Sister. She has 2 under 5 children and currently living with her dp.
She wants to leave him for several reasons and doesnt know where to begin.
I dont want her to give up hope...I have no advice to give her, anything would be helpful.

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Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 13:37

Anyone?

OP posts:
UglySister · 22/05/2006 13:40

What type of thing does she need to know?

Mascaraohara · 22/05/2006 13:42

gingerbread helpline should be able to answer most questions.. hard to help without knowing more detail..

i'll try and look out the number.

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 13:43

Hi, stuff like rehousing and benefits etc. At the moment their house is under his name.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 22/05/2006 13:43

Your poor sister. Bit hard to offer advice without knowing more details...

What's her financial situation, is she working?
Does she have friends to stay with?
Has she contacted a solicitor or is she not married?
Has she told her dp?

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 13:44

Have been to local council today and she has got some forms for housing list.

OP posts:
Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 13:45

She has talked with dp, he wants her to stay but only on his conditions.
The house is council under his name, she stayed at mine last night but I live in a 2 bed house.
Her dp is not throwing her out, she wants to leave.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 22/05/2006 13:46

Has she tried the CAB?

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 13:51

I think we will have to go there tomorrow. She has to go back to Council tomorrow to see a homeless advisor.
Thats as far as we have got, just wondered if there was anything else we have forgotten.
She is working 16 hours a week at the moment, but I suppose she may have to give that up. She is very upset and confused.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 22/05/2006 13:55

Can't think of anything else... though that doesn't mean there isn't anything to think of!
Your sis sounds like she's lucky to have you helping her out...
How are the kids coping?

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 22/05/2006 14:02

They seem to be ok, my sis is trying to shelter them from any hassles etc.
Which is difficult. I think she feels trapped with no where to go.

OP posts:
fattiemumma · 22/05/2006 22:08

If the house was council and solely in his name then they should rehouse under the homeless persons act.
She will probably be told that she may need to go into a hostel for a while an that it can take up to 6 months, she can be placed anywhere in the counrty....bla blah blah.

tell her not to panic. she may be moved into a hostel but they arent as horrid as they sound and as she has two young children it will be weeks rather than months...if any time at all.
the council tell you all these horror stories in the hopes that you will either A) find your own home or B) just go away.

Benefits, there are many benefits she can claim if she is working less than 20 hours a week. she should go ot her local jobcentre and ask to speak to a lone parent adviser. they will then be able to discuss her options. if she needs to stop workign altogether what she can claim for or if she needss to increas her hours they can speak to her about getting help with childcare.

I wish her the very best of luck. do keep us informed of how she is getting on.

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 23/05/2006 14:44

Thanks everyone.
I have been to the local Council this morning with her and she made an appt to see a 'homeless advisor?'.
I had to leave her there though so not sure how she got on. They seemed quite promising.

She showed me bruises on her back today where dp threw her out the other day.

OP posts:
orangewow · 23/05/2006 16:09

Is your sister in an abusive relationship? Sounds like it. If so, she should try Victim Support and you could talk with them to insist that she has immediate support to help her leave. That's what they are there for. A hostel may be suggested but it's a safe option and then she can work her way up to better accommodation and beginning a new life. She may be feeling very low if she is a victim of physical abuse and not perhaps at her most assertive so someone else pushing for things for her may be needed.

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 24/05/2006 10:59

Thanks orange, she is very low. I have been with her every step of the way.
She called me at midnight the other night to go and get her and this is when he had 'thrown' her out. I didnt know this until the next day - she has bruises down her side.
I dont think he beats her, but he is on drugs.
I am still not sure how she got on with finding house/flat, I shall be seeing her tomorrow.

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Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 24/08/2006 10:42

Update - sister is in a place of her own now with the children. She got a 2 bed council flat.
She is so much happier now.
We just have to sort out her benefits now as she hasn't had any tax credits for 4 months...

OP posts:
bluejelly · 24/08/2006 13:59

Great news, thanks for updating.
Sorry about the tax credits though

Original poster
mumfor1standfinaltime · 25/08/2006 14:02

thanks bluejelly. Rang tax credits 3 times yesterday (one after the other) and was told a different story each time. Eventually told that she will get the money. Fingers crossed!

OP posts:
nightowl · 25/08/2006 17:26

she can probably get money off her rent too, does she know that? if she applies for it, she has to be sure to include her childcare costs as this will affect her claim.

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