CSA amounts and one-off expenses

[2013letsdothis]

So, in the process of separating and STBXH is fighting every single thing he can. He is now saying that the amount he will be paying me as child maintenance for our 3DC should not only cover day to day expenses but also one-off costs i.e. a new laptop for our eldest, expensive school trips etc.... is he right? He says that he called CSA yesterday and he has an email from them to prove that is the case (which I doubt as they are so busy). We have agreed on the amount ourselves, using the CSA calculator online as a guide (he's ended up somehow paying less though).

We are sharing residency and he's having the 3DC two days per weeks; he's also demanding that I buy the clothes the kids will need to keep at his place out of the money he will be giving me every month ... surely that cannot be right?

Cannot believe I married such a low life, fighting every single penny when he earns so much money every month (I work but being made redundant in thenext few weeks so every penny counts....)

Thank you all

You should get a weekly/monthly amount.

That should be equal to or greater than the amount the csa calculate.

End of story. Anything else is goodwill.

when the children are with him its down to him to provide out of his own pocket clothes food spending monies etc!!
The csa monies he gives you are to cover basic care when they are with you. However he does not have to give you any extra for the extras like a laptop etc if he does not want too. so this would be an extra. make sure you get cash for the extras or a signed letter with a cheque making it clear what he is giving you the money for.
Tell him that if he doesnt agree you will go to the csa.

TBH i think its best you go to them anyway as your ex sounds like an arse and is clearly going to cause you furthere problems down the line, by reducing his payments saying he cant afford them. probably when he needs a holiday!!!

Firstly, if he is paying less than he should then go straight through to CSA and claim through them.

The money is not for him to tell you how to spend. He does not need to give more though for computers etc unless he wants to buy these things himself for the children. As for clothes to keep at his, let him demand away, but at the end of the day it is a decision based on the well being of the children not the fight between the parents.

Tbh, I would talk yourself to CSA or CAB, arm yourself with information, and make your own decisions rather than have these arguments.

Child maintenance is a contribution to the overall costs of raising a child and there is no statutory obligation to pay more than the CSA amount. Remember you are also entitled to Child Benefit and tax credits to help with the costs. Parents can agree what they want between themselves and experience shows parents are happier with family based arrangements they agreed between themselves, more likely to adhere to an agreement and contribute more voluntarily. See the CM Options website for resources.

Even though your stbx may not be prepared to contribute more he may change his mind in a year or so when the finances and arrangements for children have settled down. If an agreement can be reached it may be incorporated into a divorce settlement so that it is enforceable, although either party can apply to the CSA after 12 months and the agreement would cease to have any effect.

On the other hand if there is no agreement and your stbx doesn't pay any child support or doesn't pay it regularly you can ask the CSA to assess the amount he should pay and to collect it. However that would be no more than the statutory amount.

Thank you all so much for your input. Interesting to know I have to cover for any one-off expenses ..... and yes, he is an arse so I doubt he will be paying anything above the bare minimum requested by law.

I'm in the process of instructing a solicitor to get the divorce proceedings moving (can not and will not stay married to this idiot for longer than I have to, even if it costs me £££) so will get the payments included in that too.

Thanks again for all the advice

Also, the CSA calculation was done taking into account as him having the kids on Mondays and staying overnight at his place. He does work on Mondays, so as it is technically 'his day', can I request for him to cover the nursery expenses for that day, or should it come out of the monthly amount he gives me? He is saying that any childcare on his days should be paid by me... The CSA calculations are excluding Mondays from his total no. of nights yearly; otherwise he would have to pay a larger amount.

If you are not going to be working in a few weeks the childcare issue is likely to be a non issue anyway.

If you do return to work and claim help from child tax credits towards childcare then it should be paid by you. If you will earn too much to qualify for help then you can negotiate.

If you are claiming the CB and CTC then add his contribution on, match it yourself and see if it covers food, clothes and childcare and start from there.

child care on his days should come out of his pocket, however if there is no court order for defined contact it is going to be his word against yours on what you agrreed. TBH i think you need to pick your battles wisely and let go some of the smaller ones it will use up a lot of your time and energy. Debts that you accumilate during separation that are for your childrens needs can be claimed back at court in the finacial split. Take out a credit card etc and pay for things on it that are for the children like this. Also it is going to depend on how much matainence he is giving. Theres alot of difference for NRP giving £30 per week to £500 per week!!