Kids behaviour post-supervised contact- totally fed up!

[HaventGotAStitchToWear]

My kids are 3 and 6 and started recently seeing their father in an unsupervised contact setting. This is no doubt a period of change but the change in behaviour has been drastic.

Cheekiness, talking back to me, imitating my voice, tantrums, uncooperativeness, slamming doors, anger, hitting... all at a raised level for this last period since their father has been taking them for unsupervised mornings/afternoons. I will mention it to my solicitor but this thread is mainly to do with handling this negative behaviour in a way that doesn't just add to the stress for me.

Basically it's parenting advice I'd like here. Got things coming at me from all angles at the moment and am losing my cool! (And possibly forgetting the basics of parenting)

Piemother - I've seen resident parents use less to justify to judges why they have broken court orders.

Parents who haven't separated disagree on parenting. When they have and they're out to prove the other one is a useless parent this sort of thing is used.

I know you're not my ex HaventGotAStitchToWear...I've only got one kid. Although she has used `reasons' less than your joke to try to stop contact!

Lostdad - the flipside of this is that the court order comes before the welfare of the child. On one occasion I upheld a court order against every maternal instinct I have when the dc were very distressed. Obviously there is back story here which I will not share.
My dc tolerate substandard parenting from exh and, by default, me, because of the order. I will always feel I have let them down