Hi I'll try to keep it as short as possible... not easy..
I'm a single mum to a 5-yr old girl. Me and me ex broke up in January. A bit of a background and history.. we both have dual Canadian and some other EU citizenship, not UK. Met in 2005, been together until now, more or less. He's named on DD's birth certificate but we never married.
Early 2010 things started getting really sour between us and we decided to sell our Canadian home, which we did and split the money. I wanted us to move separately, he insisted on trying more.. anyway we rented a flat together in Canada. Tried to fix things, no success...
At some point I came across a job opp in Europe and after discussing with him I took it (this wasn't UK). I moved with my DD, and he was going to join us later.
He couldn't (didn't want to look for) find a job where I was living so he decided for London where he found a job. Asked me to move together again, so yes, took the plunge and came to London to live together, got a job here too. This was 2011, we took a 1-yr rental flat... It became obvious quite quickly that things weren't working again so we decided to split again.
I didn't want to rent anymore and because I love London I thought I wanted to make it our permanent home (incidentally my dad also lives here now but that's another story). So I bought a flat here, he was going to do the same, asked me if he could stay in my newly purchased flat until he found his. I said yes, this was June 2012.
He stayed, and stayed.. we were living under the same roof but like strangers, not very conflictual for the most part. He finds a flat, makes an offer then last minute he pulls out of the deal. This was October 2012. I asked him to move to a rental which he did early Jan 2013... he took his time. Things became really sour, conflicts and all.
The thing is, he hates London. He is very resentful of me (although he was the one cheating on me way back in the relationship... which essentially led to me not trusting anymore). He was and is unreasonable with contact and maintenance. He wants to move back to Canada. And he asked me to consider moving back there because 'it's not fair to force him to stay here'. He feels trapped here - ironically London was his idea, not mine. Job-wise he is fine, there are no work restrictions etc.
My dilemma is... I don't really want to move back. I love it here. Canada was great but too far from Europe (plus my vacation days doubled.. ). We have family in London and all over Europe.
On the other hand, I would be very unhappy if he did move back to Canada, because of DD... he does love her although he has yet to learn how to be a good father... he wasn't there when she needed her, he only sees her one or two evenings a week and even that's irregular, pays less than CSA amount, can't be bothered keep informed about what's on at her school etc.
The other issue would be the flat, I wouldn't be able to sell it without losing a signif amount of money...
Not to mention we feel so good here, DD started school, made friends, we see our extended family more often (including my ex's family, they're also in Europe).
My questions are.. am I unreasonable not to want to move back? Should I consider it, for the sake of DD? (well assuming that I would find work)
And also, is there anything he can do to force me to move back? Legally speaking?
Thank you.