Starting out as a single parent, advice greatly appreciated

[BubblegumPie]

So I have decided to leave 'D'H here I just need some practical advice from people who have been here before me.

I haven't actually told him yet as I want to have clear plans before hand to make everything as smooth as it possibly can be for DD.

I want to split custody 50/50 as this seems like the best option for DD. However I'm not sure how this would work as she is 2 and still bf. Has anyone split with a toddler and gone for joint custody, if so how did this work, was it one day with you, one day with ex or longer periods? I am worried alternate days might be a bit disruptive but that longer periods away from me might be hard for her to deal with.

Also I'm wanting advice on how to break up. I really want this to be civil, but it's a marriage breakdown and it's obviously going to be upsetting. I was thinking of planning a week or so down at my mum's for me and DD (have done this before so it wouldn't seem odd) and telling him the day before? Thus giving him time to get his head together and arrange staying at his nan's or something. I think this would allow him to retain dignity and more importantly DD wouldn't have to witness him upset. BUT is this a bit mean? Dumping him then running off leaving him upset?

haven't read your previous thread. But you should consider who is to remain in the house. Do you have a legal right to stay and make him leave? Assuming you do, i wouldn't leave him in the house, what if he refuses to leave it. it will take ages and cost alot to get him evicted.

I've looked into it and we both have the right to stay, but it makes more sense for him to leave as he has family he can stay with and I don't have anyone. If he refused to leave I would have to move to my mums until I could sort something else out which would mean taking DD miles away from him for a long time. He wouldn't want that and neither do I.

I'm hoping that leaving for the week would give him a chance to see things clearly and that he would move without too much fuss. If I tell him and stay in the house he would have to leave that day and it would be awkward, I think he'd start crying and begging to try again because it would be a lot to digest so soon and I think he'd be too scared to make the leap.

I'm banking on him not being a complete twat about it for the sake of DD. I'm not sure what I would do if he refused to leave.

We rent and both our names are on the rental agreement thingy.

well if you rent its not a massive problem. If you have a mortgage and one of you moves out and the other can't keep the payments up, then you could maybe loose the house. At least with renting he will probably leave as he has no assets to protect, and by the same token neither do you.

MY Dh split from ex wife when his kids were 2 and 4 years old. He saw them once a week after work (he must have left early I suppose) and alternative weekends. He moved out of the family home and the visits took place in the property he rented. They slept over on alternative Saturday nights.