How much info do you share with your ex

[MsColour]

My relationship with my ex is at an all time low. He just took me to court to try and get joint residence and 50:50 and lost. His court statement was the bitter rant of a man who can't cope with the fact his ex wife is getting on with her life. At the moment I can't even look at him let alone speak to him.

We normally communicate via a communication book or sometimes by text. I generally tell him in the book anything significant the children have done.

My son was put on anti-biotics for a chest infection last week. I haven't told me ex yet - wasn't going to until his mid week contact on Wed - I'll tell him beforehand via text. He blames me wheneven the children are ill or if they get hurt so I don't really like sharing this information.

Just wondering how much other people share with their exes. Do you tell them every time your child is ill or has a knock etc. ?

Unless it's something serious, I just tell him when he needs to know, i.e. when he has access and is needed to give them medicine, or when they are too ill to go with him, or are asking for him etc.

Well, Im on good terms with DDs dad, and he lives far away, so its not the same. Basically, we used to talk a lot, but in the last 2 or 3 years I only call him if Im trying to arrange contact (about 3 times a year) and I cant remember the last time he called me/dd unless it was a call back re contact. He has never lived with her so he loves her but shes not really part of his life really (and both seem ok with that)

In your situation, I would put everything in the book - be the bigger person here. Id even do it with a rather large dose of smugness ;)

Oh I tell him most things because if my son who's 6 told him and I hadn't, he'd twist it around and make something awful out of it. I would obviously have been 'hiding it' for a reason My advice would be to tell him everything, but in an ''all children do/say/get/have this'' kind of way.

I share nothing with him, we split 4 weeks ago and he hasn't made any contact what so ever, nothing. So i share nothing at this present time. x

Currently ex sees my daughter on Wednesday evenings and Fri overnight. I share thru text or email, I never call. I think it's important to share even though my ex never does. It's good for her..

I send texts to let him know about sickness or school stuff (he can't be bothered to join school mail lists), or if we do something special e.g. weekend abroad. I also send photos e.g. he bought her a new dress and she wore it at some party so I sent that, as I'm nice. I called only when she had the norovirus and told him we were heading to the A&E if he wanted to come. He didn't.

My ex doesn't share anything and generally refuses to respond even if I have questions for instance I asked about upcoming holidays and plans, or consent to renew passport which he ignored. He only texts if he needs something..

I don't really care what he does and I don't ask my daughter. I am concerned with the crap food she eats there and too much TV time however it's only 2-3 hrs on Wed, Fri evening and Sat morning (and she dines at her childminder) so I'm okay.

Oh and the other thing I wanted to mention, my texts are very neutral, I stay away from irony or reproaches or anything like that (even when I hav reasons so). They're just FYI or please. I do send reminders when he ignores stuff and I need his cooperation (e.g. the passport renewal issue). But even those are polite.