So...on Thursday I get the key to my single mum house...

[BrittaPerry]

Is there something I need to set up specially? What are good tips?

Is it scary?

Will I get scared/lonely/bored?

Argh.

Quite enjoying making all the decisions now, inviting friends round without worrying about H getting all angry/offensive/attention grabby.

It's fab! Buy new sheets if you can, the best you can afford. All the soft furnishings you like because you're the only one who'll be making the decisions! Some candles to add atmosphere as you will be spending lots of time at home (unless you've a live-in babysitter!).

Always have a well-stocked wine rack! And milk/loo roll etc. The most difficult thing sometimes is being unable to leave for the shop once dcs are in bed.

Make sure you always have credit if you don't have a landline. Just in case you need to contact someone. Buy smoke alarms (you probably have these already).

Surround yourself with happy photos and colours you love. And then enjoy! Its bliss .

It will be ace!

Phone and internet ASAP so that you can mumsnet, facebook and keep in touch with people, and also watch endless iPlayer etc when you get bored in the evenings. (Also shopping online is a million times easier than dragging DC around supermarkets, especially if you don't drive). TV licence if you watch TV.

It's really worth signing up to something like lovefilm etc too - I used to walk to my local Blockbuster but they're all closed now :(

But other than that, the most important/exciting thing is that it's yours! I moved into my house with nothing other than a bed, a cot, a futon in place of a sofa, my computer (which wasn't connected to the internet, and didn't even have a desk!) and a TV which was given to me by a kind NCT friend. I still have a mish-mash of random stuff and it's the best house I've ever lived in :)

Oh and on scared/lonely/bored - possibly all three. But if you have a phone with credit (or a landline) then you can stave off loneliness by calling someone, (and don't forget to invite people over in the evenings :))

Boredom not so much, because you've got time to do what you want rather than being pestered for sex all the time, but it can help to get some time consuming hobbies, like getting really into a TV series or something. I used to watch a lot of films.

Scared - more likely if your ex is/was abusive. If you have an old phone, or a cheapy £5 mobile from tesco or somewhere, and keep it charged up but without a sim card near your bed, you know you've always got a phone to make an emergency call on even if your usual phone is out of battery or you've left it downstairs. Get to know your neighbours and see who you could call on in an emergency too, that helps me feel safer.

Yay for your new single mum home! I hope you will be very happy in it.

I know I am. I have accidentally ended living on my own with the DCs for 14years. I've had boyfriends but have never wanted one to move in.

Float your own boat!

I've got such lovely friends, even though I have hardly seen many of them for years, they have given me all sorts of bits of furniture for my house.

I will finally be in walking distance of loads of friends too, not three hours train away in the area that H wouldn't let me move back from where the only people I knew or could keep up any kind of relationship with were the ILs and the odd person that H went to school with (H is ten years older than me, I have spent the last six years being talked down to - finally I can be 28 and not be ashamed of it.)

He is, however, now moving into the same street, after shouting and huffing about if I even mentioned moving back for the last three years... will be better for the kids at least, as long as I keep strict boundaries.

Weirdly, I'm not even worried about him being in my street. I think I disengaged from the relationship a long time ago. His moods are just...moods. I don't need to be affected by them any more. If he decides to act like a knob, the people around him will see and know what he is like. No more covering up from me.

Why was I embarrassed by his temper and treatment of me?

NOT any more!

i feel I need an empowered playlist or something.

i'm going to fill the house with my crap painting and craft and I don't care

tips:
-have an emergency £10 in the house, just in case you need to get somewhere asap and have no car!
-never run out of calpol
-shop online (saves dragging children with you!)
-enjoy your own company
-get netflix, 5.99 a month and much cheaper than buying lots of boxsets.
-wine and chocolate are essentials!

I love living with my dd, I have decorated how I like, do what I want, craft/read in an eve as well as mn/fb. You will adjust to it. Hope the move goes well.

i'm used to making sure I have milk etc in - the corner shop shuts before the pub, so I was essentially a single mum anyway before that point. And overnight wheb he was drunk. And in the morning when he was hungover. Sigh.

I'm beginning to think this will be easier than I thought...

it will be a change and obv you will need to adjust but it is the best way to live. I can't even contemplate a relationship let alone living with someone!

Hi Britta,

Was going to start a thread similar to this as I've just asked my P to move out and he's left! Hooray!

Congratulations on your new place - enjoy making it your own! :)

i did get bored but went to bed watched tv read books, hot baths, i loved it....

I found listening to always gave me a real lift during my early days as a lone parent.

Good luck in your new home

Oh yes - calpol and chocolate - keep a secret stash of both

Forgot to say, you can use that ^ to kick-start your empowered playlist. Enjoy

Loads if good ideas. I just wanted to wish yoy happiness in your new home.

You`ll love it!
I do
Sounds like every one else has it covered!!
Have you heard of Freecycle? Might come in handy for stuff you might need!

internet and tv are important to me for being connected to the outside world.

reading all the meters (boring but necessary.)

ppack some snacks, nice drinks and breakfast (dish/spoon/cereal/milk/bread/spread/jams/knife/coffee/juice/sugar/mug/cups) toaster.

light bulbs

cleaning stuff and cloths etc

cushions (£4 at asda) and pillows for bed and sofa. comfort for mning/tv.

cheap fleece throws from tesco/asda to keep you warm.