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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

my 8 year old was sobbing i feel like crap

26 replies

almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:10

any advice please ..my children and i left my ex 2 weeksa ago ,i thought the children were ok ,,im so stupid !,tonight my 8 year old came sobbing down stairs saying that she missed her daddy saying goodnight ,,,so i called him and got him to come over he kissed her and put her to bed said he would read to her another time,shes asleep now but im sobbing ..

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misdee · 27/04/2006 23:12

oh AAA, i did know Sad

what happened?

dd1 is 6, but sobs most night as she misses her daddy, not the same situation, but it really tears your apart doesnt it?

Aimsmum · 27/04/2006 23:13

Ah, sorry to hear this, it will take time, but it will get better, it is just hard for them to adjust at first!

2 years down the line and my DD will still occassionally say she misses her daddy and it is almost always at night. It helps that she knows that she can phone him and talk to him whenever she wants. Could you perhaps tell your dd this too??

Hope you are feeling better about it soon Smile

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:15

i held it togeather till now and thought i was doing ok ,doesnt help i watched officer and a gentle man started crying at the end and havent stopped!
hurts like hell are they gonna hate me when they are older?

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misdee · 27/04/2006 23:15

no, they wont.

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:16

thanks aimsmum,i said she could call she knows she can ,,but she needed to see him,

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Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:16

i hope not misdee

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Aimsmum · 27/04/2006 23:16

No they aren't going to hate you at all when they are older. They will respect you for having the courage to walk away and do the right thing by both them and you!

I promise that it will get easier!

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:16

i cant see or crying ,thinkis it everything and now i cant stop

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misdee · 27/04/2006 23:17

just let it all out AAA. you need to.

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:18

we were so lucky with the house i have a wonderful landlady shes like a second mum to me bless her ,i may talk to her teacher tomorrow let her know how shes feeling

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Aimsmum · 27/04/2006 23:18

Misdee is right, you can't bottle up how you are feeling all the time, if it helps to get it all out, then go for it!

Similarly, if it helps to write down how you are feeling, then there is no better place to do it than here!

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:18

oh misdee dont worry i am .havent cried since i left

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Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:19

i couldnt put half of how i feel on here but it helps thanks

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Aimsmum · 27/04/2006 23:20

It is a good idea to talk to the teacher, then she can look out for your DD a bit and may be able to tell you how she seems to be coping with things at school.

I done that with my DD's nursery when i split with her dad.

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:24

i wish id left when they were little ,,its so much harder now ,he stood and asked me how much money i needed tonight ,i dont want money from him but my rent benifit isnt sorted yet i have put most of my benifit[and child tax credits which only started this week]away for the rent and the child benifit but still needed some and he made me ask for the exact amount he could have just said here and gave me some but he made me ask .

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SleepyJess · 27/04/2006 23:28

I sent you a hug Angel .. here it is (((((hug))))) but I left it on the radio station thread!!!! D'oh! What am I like???!

xx

Aimsmum · 27/04/2006 23:29

Are you doing maintenence as a private arangement rather than through the CSA?

Don't feel bad about taking money from him, at the end of the day they are his children too and he is obliged to pay for them and contribute towards their upbringing and whatever you choose to do with the money is up to you and you are using it to keep a roof over their head! So don't beat yourself up about that.

I realise that it is shitty the way he made you ask for it, but try not to feel bad, you are doing it for your kids.

Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:29

lol thanks i needed that

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Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:31

aimsmum no i havent made an arrangement with him after the rent benifit kicks in i will get no money from him ,,he says he cant afford it,and i signed something to stop the csa chasing him,[on a benifit form]i dont want him thinking i owe him anything i can look after the children without his help

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Original poster
almostanangel · 27/04/2006 23:34

thanks all im going to go soak my face in the sink and get some sleep ,,hugs to you all xxx

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Aimsmum · 27/04/2006 23:34

No probs {{{{}}}} hope you feel a bit better in the morning! Smile

Aimsmum · 28/04/2006 10:05

How's things today? Smile

Elf1981 · 28/04/2006 10:28

AAA - your children will not hate you when they grow up. They will realise that you and your ex staying together in an unhappy relationship would have been far more detrimental than your splitting up.
IME when parents split up, as long as they keep things amicable, things tend to turn out okay.
Hope you feel better today.

Original poster
almostanangel · 28/04/2006 18:08

feel much better thank you ,didnt get asleep till 3 am ! but has been sunny day and littlun had a sponsored run at school so i got to sit in the sun thanks again

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Aimsmum · 28/04/2006 18:15

Glad to hear you had a much better day today Smile

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