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Lone parents

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Original poster

of all the things to make me cry

12 replies

queenbee123 · 04/02/2013 17:37

i think its clear from this forum what at hard time it is being a single parent is. been on my own over a year now and am a lot stronger then this time last year. have cried a lot, but not so much recently . however tomorrow it's bin day and every monday evening I have to bundle up my 22 month old and drag her out to put the bins out with me. we live on a road that cars cant get down so have to walk a bit up an alley to the main road to put them out ready for the morning. this week its recycling so i also have to carry to big boxes , leaking with water through my house then up the alley to the road. with 22mo dd tantruming behind me as she'd rather be sat in front of cbeebies/peppa pig. I cried at the thought that i have to do this job today. there are so many things that i get angry at my ex about , where I think 'you don't have a clue how hard life is for us!' i know i must sound pathetic. don't know why i'm posting this really. anyone else have similar moments? better go get on with it...

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 04/02/2013 17:40

It's always things like this,
have a hug,
tomorrow is another day...and other true platitudes.

My last major cry was about a blocked sink..., the time before that a blocked vacuum. Both of which I am more than capable of sorting...but......

betterthanever · 04/02/2013 19:17

Things like that always used to get me. But then I would think I am able to do it as hard as it is and now my DS does it with me and it is so nice to see him helping and learning what is important. After 7 years I fear less, it has to be a good thing, although it didn't feel like it at the time.
Your ex doesn't care, he is a selfish person whose life will be poorer as a result, he doesn't know that yet.

My own current situation has made me surprised at nothing regarding how cruel, selfish and ignorant some people can be but these people are not the norm which is what we have to remember.

I always feel sorry for old people with all these bins.... tell your DD when you are old she can return the favour. Wink

Just one other thing... what helped me get through things like that in the early days was that there are many in a couple who are on their own a lot as their partner is at work. I found the less I dwelled on the different situation I was in the easier it was..... not easy I know.

You are a functioning family unit - some couples are not that. Well done you.

cappuccinodays · 04/02/2013 19:29

i totally understand where you are coming from. I am angry at the world at the moment, not a good place to be :-( but we pick ourselves up and get on with it, as we dont have a choice. what goes around comes around, we can only do our best.. from another angry bin putter outer

karrie8 · 04/02/2013 21:02

I I know exactly what you mean especially the bin thing my sons 21 months and I too dont have bins close by. It is tough but as time goes by it does make us stronger in the end.

Piecesofmyheart · 04/02/2013 22:07

For me, it's stupid things like not being able to find the right bloody screw driver for one of the kids piddling toys - I now only buy toys which need a screw driver size that I already have!!

raenbow · 04/02/2013 22:19

Curtain rail fell down and the kids found me in a crumpled pile (me and the curtain) sobbing.

DoubleYew · 04/02/2013 23:10

Bins here also! I'm lucky I can take them out early so try and time it with a walk the previous day rather than having to do it at 9am Friday. Sometimes I do it the night before once he's alseep.

What also gets to me is if he's ill and has fallen asleep on me, I'll let him sleep but I just need someone to turn the light on or off for me or get me a glass of water. Or someone to go and fetch the calpol in the middle of the night.

Original poster
queenbee123 · 05/02/2013 10:43

Well at least we're not alone. I agree sadly, that becoming a single mum has taught me a lot about peoples selfishness however also about peoples generousity. It seems like the people you expect to b there for u arnt but there are others who u never knew cared so much! I think i jinxed myself with writing that post because been throwing up all night and battling with dd who refused to sleep or let me sleep :/ . Now being ill really is something to cry about!
One thing is obvious tho is that we're all pretty hard really. So well done strong beautiful ladies !

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 05/02/2013 11:05

bin day is crap though. i hate bin day. I have got used to everything else, even going to get the car in and out of the garage with the children... and coming home in the dark, late at night and getting the car unloaded and the children up the stairs all in one go, carying rucksack, bag and a 4 year old. (thighs like tree trunks) I don't even have to put the bin out. all I have to do is take the stuff down stairs to the bin.

try putting her in a back pack. she is then safely out of your way and you know where she is at the same time.

it gets betterr when they go to nusery. you get to take half you recycling to nusey eveyday in a caie baag. just hope you don't have a dd who brings it all back again though! (dismantle and send back after a couple of days) also you will get to put the bin out in peaace!

PostBellumBugsy · 05/02/2013 11:09

Big hug queenbee - it will only get easier. I've been on my own for 10 years now & remember so well those early days with a baby & toddler, weeping with frustration at things like bin day.
My DCs are 13 & 11 now & they are the best help in the whole world. They help lug, shift, carry, push & build. I don't know where I'd be without them.

Keep the faith - you'll get there.

Original poster
queenbee123 · 05/02/2013 15:43

Thanks postbellum sounds like you have done a great job bringing your kids up . I hope i can get my little madam to be the same . Just had a message from the ex saying he might have to cancel contact tomorrow(2 hours first time in2 weeks) because he is feeling unwell! But i was up all night with my head in a bucket and dd is still looked after. Ucccchh!

OP posts:
MySonIsMyWorld · 15/02/2013 21:24

I complelty understand since dp went a week ago, the hoover broke, the blind fell down and the fecking pc broke all things he could of done.....UGH.....Shall we sob together then work it all out together ...x

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