Solicitor's letter asking for access when I have not denied access? Advice needed.

[Pamelad18]

Hi, please can you help me? I have posted before about my dd having contact with her Father as he subjected me to domestic abuse. Since the last attack on 15 Nov, I asked him to contact my sister with regards to contact but he hasn't bothered. I've now received a letter from his Solicitor saying that "contact between our client and dd broke down on 21 Nov and since that time you have indicated that you are not prepared to agree to contact taking place."????! Anyway, I have drafted up an e-mail to send back to them and was wondering if anyone can give me any help with it?

Here is what I have written so far:

Dear Sirs

Thank you for your letter dated 14 December 2012. I totally agree that it is in dd?s best interests to have a relationship with your client but I would like to point out firstly that I left your client on 7 September 2012 due to domestic abuse. Your client had sporadic contact with dd between the periods of 7 September until 6 November when he stated he did not want any contact with her for 9 days. I collected her after an overnight stay on 15 November and was subjected to verbal and physical abuse in front of dd. She was very upset when I got her home and seemed to be suffering from severe separation anxiety. Following this attack I asked your client not to contact me but to contact my sister with regards to seeing dd which, to date, he has not done.

I have been having regular meetings with an outreach worker and have been referred to MARAC and I have also reported the domestic abuse to the Police.

With regards to contact, I feel it would be best for dd to not disrupt her routine and to keep her in familiar surroundings so I propose contact to take place at either my sister?s home in or, if your client is not comfortable with that, at a Contact Centre at . Your client?s mother has expressed (via his Step-Father) that she is not happy having me at her home so I would not be willing to leave my daughter there I?m afraid.

In reference to your referral to Mediation I am not willing to attend as I feel I will be intimidated by your client who has to date shown no willingness to compromise over contact with dd.

In honesty? I would find a solicitor yourself get some advice
I work in legal but personal injury so no experience but legal aid may be available at any rate most solicitors allow a free first interview

Thanks careergirl, I've been to see a Solicitor for advice initially but don't qualify for legal aid and they weren't much help. Think I'll make another appointment with someone else.
Thanks

I agree with careergirl, I'd go and see a solicitor. I'd also post this question over in Legal as you'll probably get more advice over there too.

I think it sounds okay tbh. I would send it and see what happens from there and not waste money just yet on solicitors.

Good luck.

The email is good but I'd maybe try and keep the focus on the best interests of your DD. Instead of 'I feel' use ' it is in DD's interest' not to witness the abuse your client has subjected me to or 'it's in DD's interests' to have contact but under supervision given your client's inability to control his temper/abuse of you etc. Other than that, I think it covers what you want to get across. I'm not a sol though so I've no idea how it reads legally. I'd also not describe your DD's upset as separation anxiety, but as a result of the abuse she witnessed. Neither you or they can say exactly what it was but the abuse he subjected you to is the key factor to highlight, not that your DD is anxious about being away from you. Just about every child experiences that to dime degree but its not usually enough to prevent or modify contact.

I would change it a little bit. Here's my suggestion (if you can't afford a solicitor, though it sounds like you really need one).

Dear Sirs

Thank you for your letter dated XXXX. You stated that I have refused contacy between XXXX and our daughter since XXXX. This is untrue. Following a verbal and physical attack on me by your client on 15 November, which was witnessed by our daughter causing her ongoing emotional harm, I informed your client that in the interests of our (mine and our daughter's) safety, contact must now be arranged via my sister and take place either at her home or at a contact centre. To date, your client has not contacted either my sister or me to make any such arrangement or to object to this arrangement.

I have at no time prevented contact. I have only sought to ensure my physical safety and our daughter's emotional well being. If your client would like to arrange contact via my sister, please remind him that her contact details are XXXX. I continue to decline to have any further direct contact with your client, including mediation, as my physical and emotional safety cannot be guaranteed following repeated abuse by your client.

Please note that the incident of 15 November, as well as others, has been reported to the police. I will record and report all future direct contact by your client as harassment, as well as any attempts at verbal or physcial abuse.

Yours etc

Thanks everyone. I will post in Legal as I'm still unsure what to do for the best.

Mediation won't be suitable as he's been violent.

You need to specify what your sisters involvement is... Supervision. And that you require no contact but need third party handovers.