Can I be prescribed Valium or similar drug long term? :(

[Notmyselfatall]

Hiya, I am a lone parent with 3 kids, dd, 11, ds, nearly 6 with severe special needs and dd, 9 weeks old.
I have a history of severe depression and severe postnatal depression and also severe OCD. I have been prescribed Diazepam 5mg on and off over the years along with anti depressants. Have bn on all antidepressants and the one that seems to work for me is citalopram. I am now up to 40mg and feel it working. I just feel like when I am taking diazepam, I function much better and am more motivated, enjoy life more etc. Most of the time, I shut myself away, only see my mum and dad, see my sister sometimes as she works a lot but would still say we are close. I have 3 friends who really help me out, although I shut myself away, I feel like I need someone here at nights etc as I get lonely, even tho the kids are here. I have my 3 kids to different guys. My dd I had when I was young, her dad and me split when she was 11 weeks, I then after a year met my ds's dad, we were together 7 years, was on my own a while and the first serious relationship I got into again, I fell pregnant with dd. He was the nicest guy but my hormones Etc and depression played havoc and we split. He was in touch every week, last I heard from him was May, baby was due October, I got in touch with him 2-3 weeks ago and he came to see her, sed he was over the moon, brought her clothes etc, was texting me afterwards saying I had looked good when he saw me etc, we discussed giving it another go very cautiously tho, taking it very very slow, then he out of nowhere started ignoring my texts and has now sed he wants nothing to do with me and doesn't want to see our dd. I keep texting him just for him to ignore me or tell me he wants nothing to
Do with me. Sorry for long post, just want you to all know the situation to date. Ty all in advance for any replies and god do I need replies !

Valium/diazepam is highly addictive and often once addicted you need increasing doses to maintain that feeling.
My grandmother was wrong prescribed diazepam long term and eventually had to spend 6 months in a residential clinic becoming 'clean' from diazepam.
Have you seen a counsellor at all? There is so much evidence that talking therapies are much the best way forward with the way you are feeling.
Going back to the GP and telling them everything you have written here would be an excellent start.

Valium has a calming effect and antidepressants are the opposite. The so-called uppers and downers. I don't understand you taking both together?
I was prescibed valium/diazepam after my DH died as could not sleep at nights and only took them before bedtime. Later GP decided I should come off the Diazepam and take Prozac instead, in the morning. Disasterous for me, as felt awful. The Prozac had no upping effect at all, just the opposite. So after 3 days I stopped them and went back to the Diazepam at night.

Hello I don't want to read and not reply but not sure I can offer much advice.
If the tablets you are taken are making you feel better then I guess the doctor will know if you can stay on them or not. Probably best not to worry about it and take it one day at a time.
Re the ex had a similar experience with my ds dad just a few weeks ago. 3 years ago i got so fed up with him not wanting to make plans to see ds that i said ds has a phone you have a phone sort it out between yourself as I am tired of it. Well they never did. Anyway i will cut a long story short he took ds out for a pizza a few weeks ago which was instigated by me. A week or so later I said is they any chance you could arrange contact weekly maybe go swimming. He just ignored by message. I just replied back saying silly me thought you may of helped.
It is hard work when they wont communicate. ds is 15 I have got this far so just got to stay strong an plod on. Hope you can do the same.