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Advice re child maintenance & contact with dd

3 replies

Mazlou1 · 13/12/2012 22:40

Hi I'm new to this and looking for some advice. My husband left me 4 months ago. We have a 9 months old dd. ex has just proposed maintenance payments of 15% of his net monthly income. Previously he was only paying £80 per month and paying his share of mortgage as he had left martial home. He works shifts where he works days (6.45 - 3.45), lates (2.30pm - 11.30pm) and nights (9.30pm - 7am) he is also contracted to work short notice overtime where he is required to work at weekends too. He is a season ticket holder for a footy team and goes to all home games drinking before & after the match. He has asked for at least 2 overnight stays a week and access every weekend! I work full time but work flexi time where I can go in when I want and finish when I want. My mother looks after dd when I'm at work. Previous access arrangements were 2 days during week fitting around his shifts for at least 3 hours and 4 hours on a weekend when I quite he wasn't at work or at the match! Fitting our dd around his lifestyle! What would anyone suggest? When he has also had dd on a weekend I have discovered that he has left dd with his mother went to pub to watch footy and then come back to bring dd back to me!

OP posts:
rhibutterfly · 16/12/2012 01:07

Sorry you've had no replies OP,from what my friend has been through you have to have physical proof or a statement off mil saying your dd is with her when meant to be with dad,I don't believe a court would grant access every single weekend though.
By law he has to pay 15% so it isn't as if he's doing you a favour,good luck

Peterpan101 · 18/12/2012 13:55

Agreed, 15% of his net income. If you think the sum he is offering is less than his actual 15% net think carefully before you protest and report him to CSA, they may reduce his amount if he has a good enough excuse?!

As for the amount of time your dd spends 'under your ex care'.....well that's something only you with advice from people who actually know you guys can decide. Not this site of anonymous advisers.

Your ex delegating PR time to the MIL isn't against the law.....and some judges look on the grandparents having access time favorably. His drinking, then bringing traveling is different though? Does he drive her back??

As he is so footy mad why not give him overnight access during the week when your ex may feel more able/capable to actually play his part?....him working shifts is never going to be good for your dd routine. I am taking it she isn't BF and he is able to look after her over night?

balia · 18/12/2012 17:52

Would mediation help? Contact is a bit of a bugger to sort out when shift work is involved, but it isn't completely unreasonable to want to increase time as DD gets older. I get your frustration with the football thing, but fitting contact round work isn't really fitting DD round his lifestyle - and at least if he's working you'll get your 15%!

What would be your ideal solution?

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