Ok. I kicked ex out 18 months ago but we still saw each other trying to work things out but it was no good. He couldn't or wouldn't change and he only saw me when it suited him really and he just wasn't very nice to mr and the kids. He wouldn't turn up for things and when he did have the kids he acted like he didn't want them there.
On Saturday he fell asleep when he had contact with my 2 year old dd3 and no one could rouse him cos he is a heavy sleeper and he has no mobile and my dd was at risk I think. He then was supposed to come and sit with the kids whilst I went out for a meal with my dancing club friends. Again never turned up and refused to answer his door when we knocked. I knew he was there as his light and telly were on.
He is rude, abusive, controlling whenever we went out together even for shopping trips! I've finally snapped, got all the Xmas pressies that I'd bought from his and told him enough , no longer welcome at Xmas, I've told him to stay away from me and the kids and we are through.
So why on earth do I feel so rotten. The thought of him with someone else upsets me but he was horrible to us. He has got many problems but I can't help him anymore. I don't get any money from him and he has stolen from me in the past.
I feel bad the kids won't see him at Xmas. He can't drive anyway so no transport to get to my house and he won't walk! I would walk on eggshells anyway if he was here minding how I spoke and what I did and he would shout at the kids so why am I feeling as if I want to still patch things up. I am so confused.