Dreading Christmas:(

[Willow89]

This will be my first Christmas alone with DS, and I just can't get excited. We will be with lots of family and friends, but I am just sad we won't be with our own little family that we used to have. Feeling very sorry for myself!

Hi Willow if your DS will be with you and if there's 2 of you that's not being alone... Sorry, sounds corny, but if your DS is still an infant he won't remember any different and you and he can make new memories. Christmas is a time to be with loved ones and I'm glad you will have other company too. It's natural to miss someone and wish things had worked out, up to a point. If your ex turned out to be a massive waste of space then don't waste a moment more thinking of him. Don't look back. If he is a good dad with DS, that's the important thing. Stick with the present, look to the future - starting with Christmas.

hi there. this is also my first christmas and at first i thought id be ok with it. but now its starting to really get me down. im going to buy myself a small gift from my dc something i want and choose for myself, you should do the same. and make it a special time for you and dc. its going to be hard at times, but this is the time to make new memories. we just have to keep pep talking ourselves, and maybe keep in mind how bad things got in the relationship every time we think we wish it was different.

This is my first Christmas as a single mum too (although ex will be around on Christmas Day but I really don't want him there). It sounds like my DCs are a little older than yours but what we've done is decided to set a whole load of new traditions that are different from when dad was around. This includes doing something Christmassy every weekend in December, so tomorrow a Christmas Market, next weekend a Christmas film, nothing too extravagant. DCs have asked for completely different things to eat, so out goes the ham, turkey and smoked salmon and this year it's Christmas Eve curry, fried breakfast and roast beef.

We'll also be starting a new Christmas tradition of us all sitting down and watching a new DVD on Christmas Eve. We're all really upbeat about it.

This is my first year as a single parent. Ex will be popping over to see our son though, which means the day will be tense. Oh and my mum will be staying, she doesn't like my ex. Excellent! I wish it were just me and my boy to be honest!

New traditions, and a small gift to yourself from DC(s), great ideas. Perhaps the exes will take themselves off sharpish after observing the niceties, maybe Santa will bring them a piece of coal. Could be quite handy having your mum there too, pickledparsnip, she can do the clearing up getting rid of ex while you have lovely snuggles with your DS.

hey my h is also coming on christmas morning. i haven't spent any time with him since we split up except on her birthday when we tried to do it together and it went disastrously wrong, so im very very nervous. i also wish it was just dc and me. i would like it if mum came too but she has other plans. someone said in another thread they were going to watch a christmas dvd on christmas eve - dc may be too young to appreciate it much but i think ill start that this christmas. a nice snuggly night for us. good luck everyone

Good point Donkey, will put my mum to good use! Just rather anxious about the whole day. Am sure after I've had a few mulled wines it will be ok.

exhaustion a dvd sounds like a good idea. Hope the day goes ok for you. My son's Birthday was a bit of a disaster too. It's hard trying to get along for the sake of your child/ren, ex and I always end up arguing. Makes what should be a lovely event a strefull and upsetting one. I am hoping that time can heal that.

Hi, this is my first year as a single mum too but we are going to ex's Dads for christmas and ex will be there if he isnt working. So not really sure if I am looking forward to it or not.

Good luck Foxy800 always a positive sign that your child's GF wants to keep in touch with you and little one, even if you & ex didn't stay together. You won't have to do this next year if it feels awkward. While your DC is young they are a useful excuse if you feel uncomfortable, "DC needs a nap/face washed/bit of time out to calm down" or "Is that the time, better get home now" etc. Hope it all goes well, people often say Christmas is extra emotional pressure but if you get on well with ex's family, it could be a nice break for you with benefits for DC.

Iv'e never had a christmas with a partner. DC are 7 and 5. (7 2 weeks after christmas). I always have bucksfizz croissants brioches and waffles for our breakfast christmas morning. I also buy myself a few things to open up under the tree we have a lovely morning and then descend on family for the afternoon, I couldn't be arsed to do a christmas dinner just for the 3 of us.

Thank you Donkey, I do get on well with ex's family and it will be of great benefit for dd who is 6 and that is the reason I am doing, also means I am not on my own for christmas.

Thank you for all the lovely replies, I think all your ideas are fab:) brought DS to visit santa on our own so one of the first hurdle is done! I'm ginna have a think about what traditions me and DS can start together