holidays

[barmybird]

My dd has just announced that she and her daddy, his new gf and her children are all going on holiday! I'm gobsmacked as I knew nothing about this. He usually goes away next month so I assume they are all going with him! I'm confused by this as he's told me he doesn't want to go away with his gf and her kids. Hes also told me he can't afford a holiday.

So what do I do, he is obviously trying to gather up the courage to broach this with me and is sure I will say yes! my concern however is that my dd has had 4 changes of address in the last 6 months and this will be yet another move. She has been very disturbed but is settled now. Plus she will be away from me for over a week, we have never been apart that long.

My concern is that I want to be fair. Perhaps I have reservations because I am jealous and hurt? I don't want the gf any where near my dd, perhaps this is clouding my judgement? I don't want to deprive dd of time with her daddy or the chance of a holiday.

Any comments?

how old is your dd? could this just be wishful thkinking?

She's 3. I think from what she has been saying that daddy has been telling her what they are going to get up to on holiday so it all sounds plausible to me. My friend was there too and she thought it sounded real.

I can't bear the thought of it, but I guess its something I've got to get used to, hence my question.

i would def ask him and point out that it's only manners to ok these things with you first before telling dd.
i don't think the holiday will affect her like moving would. Do you think he is responsible enough to look after her for a whole week? if he is then i might be inclined to let her go.

Thats just it. I know he will leave most of her care to the gf. I know shes capable and dd likes her. I just don't want her upset again.

I was tempted to say nothing and see how long it took him to raise the subject!

oooh but you'll be simmering! have it out with him!

No I'm quite good at biding my time especially when I know he will be sweating over how to broach the subject with me! I just want to be prepared and have made a rational decision for when that happens.

Both you and my friend are saying dd should go so I guess I have my answer! I've just got to get over my jealousy and resentment.

How I'll fill a week without dd I don't know.

Poor you .I would be really sad but you cant deprive your DD . I would let him sweat . does she need a passport because you could mention in passing that you have mislaid it in all the house moves , just to make him sweat a bit more LOL .

My DS is 3 and I would say no way if my ex asked, but i suppose it depends on how good your DD's relationship is with him and how often they see each other - is she used to staying over with him?
Does she want to go? If it was for 1 or 2 nights maybe but any longer.... only my opinion, of cours

She has a good relationship with him and stays over at his every week. From what she was saying today shes really looking forward to it and as I said she likes his gf. I do have her passport so ultimately I could stop her going and I guess that was my first thought, she has been very distressed and I don't want her being upset again. But she will be with her daddy so I guess I've got to risk any possible after effects and bite my tongue about the gf.

I will let him sweat though