the loneliness...how do you cope?

[fizzfiend]

I have lots of friends, lots to do. So evenings and weekends when kids asleep...why do I feel crippled by loneliness. In my 40s and just feel I'll be alone forever and hate the idea. Thought I'd love being alone...and not with DH who ignored me. Never thought I'd be someone who needed a man but I think I do....I know...big fail...

How do you do it? Feeling a bit of a loser not being happy on my own.

I used to watch a film, go for a walk, took up some new hobbies too like calligraphy to keep my brain going

Thank you for answering....it actually made me smile that I wrote about loneliness and nobody was answering! I can't leave for long in the evening but I think if I get out of the house more during the day, being here every evening won't seem so bad.

Mostly it's okay but you know how it is sometimes...last night I just wanted a sleeping pill as I couldn't face another lonely Saturday night.

fizz- how long have you been on your own for? it's only been a year for me and at first i struggled to get through a day and would just go to bed when my dd did as i saw no point in sitting up alone. I've already come to enjoy my quiet evenings a bit and like how i can have my house how i want without worrying too much if its in a mess or if we eat rubbish for tea. however i totally know where you are coming from. last night i cried watching xfactor on my own, it would be nice to jsut turn to someone sometimes and say 'did you see that?' . however this weekend i ama bit emotional as i ahve had friends let me down which is gutting as any contact with other adults is so appreciated. plus I came on lol.

I know exactly what you mean Fizz. I thought I'd be fine alone and it's true I don't miss STBXH and I have loads of brill friends. It is the physical that is hardest for me. Not necessarily sex, but being touched by another adult. My body feels lonely iyswim. I find that kind of loneliness hard to explain and now I realise how alone I was in my marriage I long for something else. Intimacy I suppose.

yes i,'m often lonely in the evening. Long for some company....sometimes its OK but other times I just feel down. Truth be known I really just want my husband back. I'm so busy in the days and look forward to kids being in bed and a bit of peace. But need an adult to share it with.

I go to bed at 8! I am 10 months into single life and I am starting to miss having someone to talk to and cuddle

It is so strange isn't it. Before kids I loved being alone. Never ever felt lonely even with DH who wasn't tactile but I suppose he was there!

It's a horrible kind of loneliness isn't it...I don't want to whine too much because I know there are people out there who have lots of kids, small babies, not enough money for bills. But this feeling has just thrown me.

Even my girlfriends with very annoying and irritating husbands still have that adult company. It's been about 18 months now although I've had a bit of male company now and then. Just a couple of friends who are single and we meet now and again...being cuddled in bed is so amazing for me these days...and I love sex, but having someone there all night to cuddle is even better!

I think I worry that I'll never have it again....someone just for me. I know you all get it. Anyway, pity party over...it's so nice just to get it out. People don't understand why I feel lonely as I talk to and see friends every day.

I feel the same and its only been six weeks for me. I now miss my ex when I see him he looks so well and I am sure he has someone else already. I dream about him at night and then wake up crying. I miss sex, and cuddles and adult company as being a mum of two little kids is so draining and makes me feel dowdy. But I kicked him out and could not stand him a lot of the time he was around so I am confused!!!