He has reduced my maintence by £100 a month

[sanchpanch]

We dont have a formal arrangement, we just agreed a set ammount per month, he picked dd up last nite and said he needs to reduce it by £100 a month,

Dont know if CSA would be worth the hassle, he earns £25,000, plus he is a retained fireman for which he gets paid but the CSA wont include that in calculation because they class it as voluntary (even though he gets paid for it)

Why just when i start to feel better about the situation, he kicks me right back down again......

sorry to hear that

what is his reason?
is he giving you the 20% of his net salary?

and he does it cos he can - men seem to think that they are giving you money to go out on and dont think that the money is for THEIR children

First he said he wants to go out and be able to do nice things on the days of his access like zoo etc, and buy new shoes and clothes etc for them, then he said he was buying a house, (he currently lives with his mum,

Is it 20% of salary, CSA take if it is i dont get that although my maths is rubbish,

He was giving me £300, which was managable for me but now down to £200 which i dont know how iil manage....

And i know he does a great job as fireman, and i dont want it all, but it is part of his income, and money to him,

Why is it all so hard

Hope you are ok, mistress miggins x

I dont know why its so hard
have to be honest that at the moment, my ex has been pretty good about the money

no real advice but I do feel for you

i hope he stays that way for you, mine has been fine for 9 months and now this, i think he is probably over his guilt trip about leaving us now, so thinks it fine to cause us more misery,

Are your children with you this weekend?

I keep reading these threads recently where the ex has decided to cut the money, because it suits them. It is totally out of order but I have to manage on the same amount of money for 4 kids and my ex earns more than yours, if I can manage I'm sure you'll be able to.

no kids this weekend
feel sad but actaully am really quite ill so enjoying the rest

well say Im ill - feel fine from mouth down

cant speak so been on Mn for AGES as I can talk without it hurting and so people dont say "pardon"

I will see how H is in 2 mths time when we go to mediation - at the moment he prob has an idea of what HE thinks the outcome will be which Im sure is v v different to mine
bet he drops my maintenance then

rickman knows my maintenance got cut also, mine went from £300 to £100. its very hard but you'll have to find out if youre entitled to more benefits. my food/toiletries budget is £70 a week for me and 2 kids, coz ds17months has dietary probs his food costs over £30 a week which doesnt leave a lot for me and the other one. didnt realise till i added up the spending for youngest on receipts i keep.

CSA is crap by the way

p.s my ex is on over £30,000

Rickman, i dont doubt that i wont manage, but i asked for none of this yet me and my girls are made to suffer, while he leads a jolly life

Why dont you get more? have you involved CSA? 4 children is pretty hard going,

7 up This is soul destroying why if he earns so much does he pay so little, and get away with it,

dont think benifit will change, i work and get top up by family credit

they do it because they can get away with it, even tho the courts apparently say maintenance and contact are seperate issues my solicitor is making a stand about it and linking the two together. ive told the welfare officer that the ex dont give a shit about my ds's welfare if hes not bothered about him eating the right foods and being clothed. god it really winds me up.

do you rent your property?if you do you should get more help with rent. i do get more rent paid but id still be better off with his maintenance

Blimey i feel for you, it is so frustrating, he is like a stranger to me, and i have been so fair to him for last 9 months, - not any more

id kick up if i was you, tell him youre gonna get a court order for maintenance. this is what im going to ask my solicitor about, whether it can be done or not i dont know, someone on here mentioned it. mind you i spose if it was easily possible then the CSA wouldnt have had to be formed.

you should def get the a**e with him tho!give him a list of clothing, toiletries, toys, new bedding etc to make up for the shortfall then see what he says

Yeah like that idea,

hear so many different stories about CSA. some have good result others dont, which is pretty unfair, should be across the board

i contacted CSA at beg January and i havent heard a bloody thing, not even confirmation that theyve got the ball rolling

I didn't exactly ask for it either sanchpanch, admittedly I left him, but I thought that he might support his children properly.

He has managed to wriggle out of it because he owns his own business and has a clever accountant. I started a thread on it yesterday, csa and samaritans.

I'm sorry I know I probably sound like a bitter old cow, but it is bloody hard.

hey rickman, youre entitled to be bitter. i hate myself for my bitterness towards my ex sometimes but thats life, weve got good reason too. def going to put my kids to bed now!!

I dont mean i didnt ask for it like that, i mean why should me and 2 gorgeous girls suffer all because he wasnt strong enough to keep his willy in his pants,

and i cant think of any reason that if you have 4 children you are getting so little help (maybe i need to read other thread) i know its hard with 2 children so god knows how you manage with 4,
I hope things work out better for you