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Original poster

I emailed a man I met by chance, and now I'm feeling SO foolish! What possessed me?

26 replies

CringeCringeCringe · 29/10/2012 11:29

Rationally - I know he gave me his card, but now I'm thinking that he must speak to interesting people every day and for me it was rare. It was just a business card with nothing personal scribbled on it. I emailed him and it was just friendly and chatty but it was a bit too long. Even if he does reply I just feel that I put myself out there for a rejection and I think that I need to know how people shrug over these things?!

I know if the situation was reversed, I'd feel flattered, a little awkward for a short while but not that much more. I certainly wouldn't think 'what a foolish woman to think well of ME'. So.... why do I feel so stupid?

I had met a few people on line and felt no chemistry and the chat was difficult, so perhaps I was in that mode, and I met this guy and it was so easy to talk to him and I thought it was a date. Blush [hconfused] I am just so embarrassed now.

OP posts:
chipsandmushypeas · 29/10/2012 11:32

What do you have to lose? I think it's good to take a chance sometimes! Hope he gets back to you :)

Original poster
CringeCringeCringe · 29/10/2012 11:34

That's another thing I'm trying to tell myself, even IF he does think 'oh she actually emailed me, shit, how awkward' - I don't know anybody he knows (although it's possible I do, if we had that who do you know from where conversation, it would be likely, but I don't need to worry that he'll tell mutual acquaintances that 'cringecringe' emailed me, wasn't interested, although she was staring at me with big eyes.

OP posts:
Original poster
CringeCringeCringe · 29/10/2012 11:35

So, in answer to your question, I guess I have nothing to lose. This cringe feeling will pass.

OP posts:
chipsandmushypeas · 29/10/2012 11:36

Exactly, it will! I've done many a cringe worthy things before. Nothing to lose, but a nice man to gain, you never know! ;)

FrameyMcFrame · 29/10/2012 11:37

Where did you meet him?

Original poster
CringeCringeCringe · 29/10/2012 12:00

I am scared to say in case for some reason, well, caution.

I like chatty, talkative men who are never stuck for words. But they are in demand I guess. So what felt like a minor coup de foudre for me was probably just a 30 minute chunk of his busy day. [hblush] But like chipsandmushypeas says - I've done cringier things in my youth. I can see that a person needs to take a calculated risk from time to time. This is not like some of the drunken escapades from my pre-kids antics that make me gasp in horror now. The things I said/did, sometimes at work dos, or at work. Yeah there's worse stuff than this to rake over! But I've let all of that go ! [hwink]

OP posts:
inapineappleunderthesea · 29/10/2012 12:06

from a mans point of view,I'd be flattered & if you both got on then there is no reason to be embarrassed about it,if its meant to be then good on u,besides u have to take a chance now & again :)

Original poster
CringeCringeCringe · 29/10/2012 12:10

Are you a man?

OP posts:
inapineappleunderthesea · 29/10/2012 12:13

yes i am

Original poster
CringeCringeCringe · 29/10/2012 12:30

Thanks.

Also, I'm thinking, it was about 24 hours since I emailed, so this is the period where I'm feeling the most vulnerable or 'out there'. Because it's still possible he might reply so that's why my cringy feeling is so heightened. After too much time has passed, I'll just feel disappointed, but I think relieved too, cos I'll know he's already taken the decision not to reply and moved on, deleted it.

OP posts:
digerd · 29/10/2012 12:34

OOOH. " Chatty talkative men who are never stuck for words" I would run a mile from. Reasons being IMO

  1. Think too much of themselves
2 Not interested in what I have to say
  1. Self-absorbed
  2. And I like the strong silent type, who is gazing at me with puppy-dog love
eyes !! .
inapineappleunderthesea · 29/10/2012 12:36

oh u replied!!! lol thot u ran a mile cos i was a man,24 hrs isnt long enough plus u dont know if he checks his email regularly,unless he has a BB,do u know if he's single or married or anything? either way it was brave of u to email him & im sure if he's genuine he will see it that way too :)

inapineappleunderthesea · 29/10/2012 12:44

hahahahha digerd not all men that are chatty are like that,some are chatty cos they get nervous around someone whom they find attractive or feel attracted to,dont be such a cynic :)

lowercase · 29/10/2012 12:44

Dont cringe!

if you ever see him again you can ask if he got your email?

im sure he would be pleased to get it, whether interested or not.
wouldnt you be?
you spreader of joy, you!

inapineappleunderthesea · 29/10/2012 12:50

well said lowercase.

FrameyMcFrame · 29/10/2012 13:28

Has he emailed back yet.......[hgrin]

CringeCringe · 29/10/2012 14:30

No, he hasn't emailed back. I just checked my inbox and I have emails from wallis and dorothy perkins :-(

But I am cringeing (cringing) less! So what. Fekk it. Pasa lo que pase.

I like men who can talk!? why would anybody enjoy sitting in near silence carrying the weight of the conversation!? I'm not incapable of sitting in companionable silence but I like somebody who has a lot to say.

CringeCringe · 29/10/2012 14:35

ps, he did ask me questions as well as yak yak yak himself. He told me he wasn't married and didn't have kids. I wasn't just an EAR. He was clearly a person who really enjoys talking/conversation!

foslady · 29/10/2012 20:26

Good for you! I think it's great that you did - it's his loss if he doesn't get back in touch (and if he's giving out cards and no one ever emails him, how much of a Billy no mates would he feel - you'll (hopefully!) of made his day!)

inapineappleunderthesea · 29/10/2012 23:06

billy no mates,hahahah good point tho.

WasCringeingFineNow · 03/11/2012 10:10

I wanted to update you. This is not the movies. This is real life. He did not email me back, but I'm fine. I can recognise now that I took a risk putting myself out there but despite that I'm fine now. I usually am so cautious about this type of thing, so in a way this has reassured me that I can be a little bit pro-active if I really want to be. I'm not going to say his loss or anything like that! I'm toughening up! There was a time I would still have been cringeing about this weeks later and I feel fine! Thanks for the encouragement though!

lowercase · 03/11/2012 11:57

You havent acted improperly or anything, so you ought to feel ok.
You are open to love / friendship, that is health and wellness imho.

heres to you ( wonder how many people wish, wish, wish they could do something like this but imagined fear stops them)

Pancakeflipper · 03/11/2012 11:59

I think good on you. It was a risk but nothing awful happened. Let it boost your confidence - don't let it eat at it. Head up, be confident, shine and enjoy.

AlmostAHipster · 03/11/2012 12:07

Good for you and more fool him.

TheJiminyConjecture · 03/11/2012 12:15

Good for you. Whether he replied or not what you did was a positive thing and I'm glad you're not cringing!

I remember the first time I took the initiative after my husband left. It was only a text but the fact I sent it was such a big deal to me. It reminded me that, like you, I can be pro-active and put myself out there. But only on my terms!

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