Leaving the Marital Home

[laloopsy]

I am looking to leave the marital home, and of course would like to take some items with me. How would I be best going about this?

Do I get in touch with a removal company so that they can provide me with boxes and then I pack up what items I want to take so that the remainder can be left with my partner? Then they do the heavy lifting of say beds and wardrobe etc.

Just wondering how everyone else in this situation has done this.

They will do the heavy stuff for you. Ring and get some quotes maybe?

I did that, used a removal van for furniture etc and bought boxes online (in October, then didn't move until April!). You will need to follow the removal men around telling them exactly what is going and what isn't.

Either a removal company or if you've got some strong & willing friends you could rent a van and do it yourself. This is the cheaper but more labour intensive option!

How you're ok - from experience moving out of the marital home is a very emotional time.

I did it with the help of friends and we hired a van.
It was hard work though. It took me quite a while to pack all the stuff but i told ex-h what i was taking and i just got on with it. Luckily he stayed of the way (well was out with his tart !!) while i did most of it so he didnt stick his nose in. I loaded and unloaded most of the boxes on moving day with the help of my kids whilst my burly male friends moved the heavier stuff. oh and i got boxes from local supermarkets/shops, they will keep some for you if you ask.

I couldn't have afforded a removals company unfortunately but luckily it worked well the way we did it.

Apologies for sticking my nose in but as have been on the receiving end if this, can I make a plea?

If there are DCs involved who are likely to be returning to the marital home soon after you move out, I really would suggest that you minimise the amount you take as much as possible.

My ex ransacked the marital home; we couldn't agree on who got what so I told him that he could take what he wanted and left him to get on with it - I hadn't anticipated that he would remove every stick of furniture from some rooms, emptying the contents of drawers and cupboards onto the floor and leaving all the rooms sparse and decimated.
I had half an hour to try and make it home before my DD got home from school. She went into shock and the immediate and long term psychological damage she has suffered has had a huge impact on her life, and will do forever.

That is so horrendous Nota, real feel for you and DD.

Thank you for all your replies.

NotaDisneyMum Oh that is really awful, I am so sorry to hear this. It has made really made me stop and think.

I really do not know how I or he will go about deciding who has what - it seems so dreadful, but it will have to be done.

I sorted everything into piles of my things, his things and disputed things. We then sort of divided the disputed things in half. But my ex was pretty reasonable (and feeling guilty) so it was all reasonably amicable. I kept most of the furniture because he was moving out. Much better to leave it where it is unless it's things that you're sentimentally attached to (or he doesn't want) and have him buy it off you if needs be. My ex got the car instead.

If I were you I'd take only what you really need at first, and your own personal possessions, and make it clear there's other things you'd like to have at a later date once you're settled, and possibly giving your ex some notice so he can start getting replacements.

If you want to make a start without having sorted out a proper removal date, you can pick up carboard boxes from the trades entrances to most shops. Or try freecycle.

I left my ex-husband with a removal company. They took a lot. I had the midfortune to be knocked down by a bus the day before so oculdn't oversee anything. My ex-husband knoew I was going. He just didn't believe me. However, I didn't have children then. That would have been a horse of a different colour. For the sake of the chidren let them know what's going on and let them know they will see Daddy on XXXX. Make sure you make arrangements with Dad.

Are you ok OP?

Thank you for your replies.

PTL thanks for being concerned - very sweet of you. I have not made any plans as yet, but want to make sure everything is in order before I do.