I've been single since pregnancy but the father has been involved.
Up until now (DD is 6 months) everything has been 'okay'. He clearly has never respected me despite the fact that I bent over backwards to involve him and his family in my daughters life. They stayed at the hospital all day when I gave birth ffs and I hardly knew them, I hardly saw DD for the first 8 hours of her life!
But he was seeing her every saturday atleast. Has always talked to me rudely or ignored me when I've contacted him regarding DD but I thought hey it's not about me anyway and I wanted to keep things good. He now has a GF and another baby on the way (she is six months preg...DD is 6 months old)
From when DD was 6 wks old we arranged that he'd pay me 30 pounds a week into my bank account for child support. No issues there until a couple of months ago when he changed the amount and changed it to monthly, didn't bother to tell me so I had to ask when I'd get the money (I hate to do this) and he was rude and told me I'd just have to wait. If he'd told me in advance I could have budgeted knowing that money wouldn't be there. I told him this.
Then this month I get nothing. I got to him to ask why he says he can't pay me this month. I ask why he says 'I just can't' and that the money I get from the government will cover it. I try to explain that's not really the point and he is rude to me. I try to discuss it with him the next day and he ignores me, so I told him I will contact the CSA and arrange something through them so we don't need to have any future disagreements.
He then went crazy saying I'm trying to spite him and bankrupt him, he has debts, this will make things worse between us, he's been very generous and given when he could despite his debts (which I never knew about). He then apparently added up all the child support he's paid me and said 'look I've paid this much so far plus the money I gave you for the pram' we went halves on the pram and shared it.
Then came the final blow. He told me he's coming over to take swabs from me and DD for a DNA test. I couldn't believe he would take it this low over having to pay for DD. He's threatened me saying he's coming to take her anyway. I have told him if he wants a DNA test he can do it through the courts and til then DD will stay with me. How can I hand my baby over to him when he's acting like this? And if he doubts she's his he doesn't need to see her does he?
Am I doing the right thing? And he's a prick right?