unreliable ex's what would you do??

[mummycare]

If your kids asked their dad when are you next coming to see me and he replies 5 days time but would not show up til 10 or 14 days time with no phone calls inbetween to them.. then when they got a little older 6 & 7 they started asking you when he was next coming would you lie to sheild them from his failings of coming or would you say the day and then let them see that he isnt coming or phoning..

My DS is 7 and my ex is similarly unreliable. I allow my DS to use my phone to call his father whenever he mentions that he is supposed to see him but hasn't. I reply calmly that maybe Daddy has forgotten and tend to suggest that if a time and place to meet ex has not been arranged then we don't know for sure that it will happen.

Arrangements with us are made by text and usually not more than a day or two in advance although after each time he sees DS, ex makes some vague promise like 'see you in two weeks time' or 'I will call you during the week and arrange something'. Often arrangements are made by phone when DS calls, says 'When am I going to see you Daddy', he then arranges a date, I'm usually listening in the background and remind DS if it isn't possible because we have other plans. DS has a diary so he can write in commitments and take it with him to ex's to make arrangements. A few months back we gave ex a chart of days that DS was available over the summer also. DS can see that it is all down to Daddy to get back to us.

Just say I'm not sure but it'll be soon. They will realise soon enough without you helping it along.