how does splitting the time affect your DCs behaviour?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Just that really. Do you think it affects how your DCs behave to have two different styles of parenting?

DD is 3.9 and goes to her dads two days a week. As shes there so little him and his partner roll out the red carpet. She is waited on hand and foot. Taken out. Treated. Generally spoilt.

His family also dote on her (as they should) but it all seems to be giving her the impression that she is in charge. What she says should go. And it really undermines me.

When she comes back and has to fall into our routine (we cant afford lots of eating out/soft play etc I cant do the park a lot at the minute due to being pregnant) and its not all about her she hates it. I read to her, play with her, we draw/paint etc. But that just doesnt seem to be enough for her.

If I try to discipline her she flies off. She has been known to say she wants to live with her dad and that daddy is right and mummy is wrong.

I cant talk to him. Its just not an option.

I was looking through the symptoms of ADHD and she has 18 out of about 25-30 but how do I know if it is this or if its just the two styles of parenting?

Does anyone else have similar experiences?

I don't have experience of this but the differing parenting style which will cause problems are not really about the activities but the boundaries. For example if she arrives there and dad says 'would you like to go to soft play?' and she does and they go this is ok but if she asks herself for things all the time; sweets/treats etc and he never ever says no, even when she's naughty then yes this will make it harder for her to be with you.

Yes. The boundaries are definately different. Its almost a part of the special treatment.

One day I went to pick her up. It was a sunny day, really warm. She gets to the door and says "I want my coat."

I say "You dont need it." as her dad is running to the kitchen to get it. It didnt even occur to him that he should think about it. She spoke. He obeyed.

Its so infuriating.