DS doesn't like ExP's Partner

[mummystudent]

My DS has expressed some pretty strong words against his Dad's partner of 4 years. He has said he doesn't like her for various reasons... Mostly the fact she tells him off, puts him on the naughty step (the concept of which I would never use in my own house), makes him do things like handle his Half sister's dirty nappies, and is generally "not like you mum".

I moved away from my ExP 7 months ago now, and ExP has been to visit his son a grand total of ZERO times since.

Obviously the longer it's gone on my DS has become more open about his feelings towards his dad to me. He basically has told me whenever he mentions his dislike of the other woman he is told she is "family and that's that". It's almost as if ExP is forcing DS to be in this 'Family'.
My son has expressed very strong feelings that he does not want to be in this family, but just with his dad.

Meanwhile, obviously, I've put this all into his head according to ExP. I am obviously bitter that he's got a family. Yet here I am, a young single woman with a gorgeous son, working towards the career I've always dreamed of... Real jealous.

How can I get him to realise these are DS's genuine feelings?

How old is your son? The things you have described don't seem altogether unusual, naughty step etc. Different houses have different rules. As for handling dirty nappies, what do you mean, is he asked to put them in the bin?

My son is almost 6. And when me and ExP were still together I expressed my dislike for the naughty step. So did he.

He's had to change nappies, put them in the bin, clean up spillages, etc.

To be fair, his father should be implementing the rules, not his partner.

I can't honestly believe that anyone would expect a 6yo to change nappies - would they?

Would my son lie about it?
The only reason I found out about the nappies is because my ExP had asked if DS had a sickness bug, which he hadn't, and when I asked DS if he was sick at his dad's he said "yes, because some of the poo went on my hand out of the nappy".

I have also had DS come from weekends away (more than once) without brushing his teeth, and a text from his dad admitting that this was true, so I believe nothing is impossible to b honest!