Right ok a bit of back ground,was with ex for just over 8 years,we have been split four come this summer,we have 3 kids together,the last of whom i was pg with when we split.
We split summer 2002 but stayed on freindly terms,even tried on and off getting abck together and sorting things out.Ds1 has severe autism and ex had huge difficulties dealing with him,that coupled with the surprise pg of dd lead to us separating.Anyways from when we split to sep 2004 he saw the kids nearly every day at my house,always with me there,didnt fully trust him with ds1 and the baby,his relationship with dd has always been a bit hit and miss,but apart from that he became everything i wanted from him from the split in 2002 till sep 2004,when he left scotland and went to work and live in buckinghamshire.
There within 6 weeks he had met a new gf and the trouble started!! It was ok to start with but got worse and worse,his visits to the kids were hugely erattic,he stopped paying them maintenance money,due to him and new gf having a baby,moving house to a morgage and him needing his money to take care of new gf and her already 2 children. I tried to get him to stabilise visits,tried to get on with new gf etc but was constantly painted as the baddy,i got no end of hassle from them so eventually took the tough decision to cut all contact from him to the kids and me.
This happened in june last year 2005,so he hasnt seen or spoken to the kids since then,though has periodically contacted me to try and sort things out ,it was always on his terms and never the kids interests so it never happened.
I had to change email address and phone numbers to keep them away and the hassle they were bringing to my door,here i must say that this was extremely unlike ex and i suspected new gf was behind a lot of it.
So to the update and my dilema,feeling generous i contacted ex to fill him in on how the kids were doing,dd now having been dx as having asthma and thyroid probs,and ds2 going to surgery for downstairs little men problems!
I txt then he called to inform me that new gf is a nutter,absolutely filthy,terrible mother etc etc the list could go on till next month!! some of this he was slightly aware of before he moved in with her.She is indeed pg and is now 4 days overdue,he has told me he wants absolutely nothing to do with the baby!! wants to sort his head out,has been drinking very heavily to blot out what he had gotten himself into and what he had lost out on,he has left new gf and is living in rental accomodation.He sounds very sincere almost like the person i knew him to be before he met her and gotten taken in by her....................so my question is what would you do singleys ?? Do i start to reintorduce him to the kids? do i tell him you made your bed you lie in it? Just not sure and my head has been buszzing with all this since i found out on thursday,have had a 2 hour convo on thursday with him,a 4 1/2 hour one on friday and a 1 1/2 hour one on saturday !!HELP anyone any advice please??