Just become a single mum and terrified

[MissJayTea]

H has gone and I'm left alone with 3 dc.

I'm gutted, my head is spinning and I'm terrified about the future. I've never felt more alone in my life.

Yes, you will have some weeks of shock but believe me, thibgs will be fine, you will survive and eventually you will see it was for the best.

You need to get some peace of mind first, check if you are entitled to any help at www.entitledto.org.uk

Ensure you tell good friends and family what has happened and accept any offers of help, support, cup of teas, etc you will build your support network through these.

And once children are in bed, cry and try to get it out, this will make you feel better.

And remember, you are not alone, in fact. You are about to discover how mant people cares so much about you. ((hugs))

Many, not mant

I remember after i had kicked DH out, i was even scared to go to sleep.

It gets easier.

Im stronger now. you will be too.

will be back later to see how you are. x

Iast night was my first night on my own and I had to leave all the lights on downstairs and even left the lamp on in my room.

I don't have any family but I have one friend who is going through the same thing. She is coming round on Monday so we can have a good talk. She even offered to have dd if i have to go to appointments.

I have been a stay at home mum but I'm going to look into setting up as a childminder to earn some money that way.

I keep being overwhelmed by these feelings of panic. This so isn't how I imagined my life turning out. It wasn't meant to be like this.

I have been where you are it does get better you and the dc will adapt really you will, take each day at a time, continue your normal routine for all your sakes, get the dc to school or nursery on monday and start phoning tax credits, cab, turn2us helplines, phone your local council and get the discount for being single adult in the home, etc you will feel more empowered once you have financial peace mind, book a free 30 min app with a family solicitor, contact friends and family for comfort, keep posting there are lots of us that have been in the same boat, hugs x

missJ, why has he gone?

what happened?

It's a long story but I had no choice but to end it and there is no way he will be coming back. I just wish I didn't feel so very sad.

One day at a time is my mantra at the moment. And things can only get better eh?

Well if you had no choice there must have been good reasons which you can keep in the forefront of your mind.

When I was going through this I would think how can I make this pain go away ? The only answer was to be back with xh which wasnt an option or desirable so therefore I accepted I just had to keep going through it

Your one day at a time mantra will serve you will along with just take baby steps and your recovery will come eventually.

Hi there, I too became a single mum a week and a half ago so know how you feel. So just wanting to send you a big hug.xx

Same here - recently single with 2 DC.

Every time I begin to get 'down' I remind myself how much worse it would be if I stayed.

If you're sure you've made the right decision then the only way is up!

Hope you're well & had a good talk with your friend.

I became single mum a few months ago & it's still a roller coaster ride...one day I'll feel incredibly low while the next I walk around with a huge grin in my face knowing my Stbxh infidelity is no longer my problem. The future is still scary & until finances are settled, I don't think I can be happy just yet.
Like you I have no family but a good friend around who has experienced the same as me. Plan lots of coffee mornings or evenings at yours with a bottle of wine with your friend! And whenever you feel really down & no one is around, just post on mumsnet, there's always someone here.

gather pals,family any reliable support
see a solicitor,sort finances, get pragmatic and practical
and hard as it is,you're not 1st and won't be last single mum.best wishes with all the ups and downs

Hello. I am now a single mother to 4 dc. Dh left a week and a half ago, and our marriage is definitely over.
This time last week I was in bits, and sending him stupid texts, but I feel 10x better today. Try and take each day as it comes and know that you will feel better. I haven't cried since Friday, and I moved a sofa out of the house by myself! I am starting to feel strong on my own.
I have had friends over most evening (friends have really come out of the woodwork and I have realised how much I have neglected them. They have been wonderful) and one friend told me all the great things I could do without a dh, or wouldn't had wanted to (weekends away with friends, snogging new men, listening to whatever music I want, maybe getting a dog for example)
I still feel really sad, especially when I remember the good stuff, or want to chat about the kids, or my day or whatever, but I try to hold onto the things my friends said, and all the new independence I will have. Just little things.
But, we haven't told the dc yet. I imagine it will be really tough when we do that :(

Just want to say that I became a single mum of 3 about 18m ago and I survived ans so will you.

All the 'firsts' will be tough...the first dc birthday, Christmas, holiday etc. But once you have done them you will feel so empoweres because you got their on your own - especially with the more practical firsts like going on holiday, fixing a diy problem etc.

Stay strong. One day at a time. Remember you are a single mum for what sounds like a very good reason.