How to combat the loneliness?

[thedogsrolex]

Sounds pretty pathetic really but it's starting to drive me nuts. I may have posted about it before.

Basically, I spend all day alone and all nights without adult company. My friends are mostly married or happily living with a partner. I've suggested nights out (and I don't mean getting drunk on the pull), meals or activities but they're too busy with their spinning classes (which i'm not eligible for it seems), or their sport (same again).

I'm desperate to get out and do something but I feel like a leper, friends i've known for 20 years don't ever think to include me or invite me to anything and can't ever attend anything I invite them to (which is seldom, birthday, christmas etc).

I'd like to think it's because they are settled and don't go out, but that's not the case, they do...just not with me.

The only contact I have really with people I know is via facebook and i've deleted that because i'm totally fed up with their lax attitude to privacy and various other things.

I tried online dating and managed to pull a very strange abusive guy so deleted that profile too.

I'm unemployed at the moment, applying for jobs all over the place and being rejected again and again.

I'm so fed up with being alone, as much as I love my kids I need some adult company!!

Hello!
Are your children at school?
Can you join some club/activities, regardless of what your friends do? Do your own thing.
Volunteer for some part time in a charity shop until you find a job?
I sympathise. Been there, and will be again very soon.
Grin and bear it?

Thanks ttw, my kids are at school yes. I would love to do some voluntary but shop work is out as my back can't take standing around behind a till (i'm fine if i'm sitting or moving). I did look into some voluntary admin but nothing has come of it yet unfortunately.

There aren't really any clubs/actvities to join around here, it's crap really, the same for the kids...nothing to do nearby.

Feel like i'm wasting my life sitting here doing nowt!

hi, there im in the same kind of situation as you. its been years since have been out. and it does my hea in when i hear my friend saying i never go out bla bla when they went out a few weeks back. its been over 2 years for me since i went out. but anyway enough moaning from me.

i do volunteer work, there is all types of volunteer work not just shop type stuff. i speak to familys effected by sexual abuse. It's the best thing i have ever done as its allowed me to chat to other adults and i dont feel so isolated.

also how about the mums at your chidrens school, do you talk to them?

I don't really know the school mums, when I was working it was drop the kids off and run, childcare did the pick up!

I actually got out today with the one friend I do occasionally see, just to help her sort out some bits for charity but what a difference it makes to have a coffee and a chat. Got another job rejection too, not so good. (But at least I wasn't sitting here alone dwelling on it) .

Have you thought about volunteering for a group called Homestart? They might be in your area and they're fabulous. They help out with families that need a bit of extra support during difficult times and I know they've given me something worthwhile to cling onto.

I have to say if it wasn't for my pets I would be lonely. The dog gets me out walking saying Hello to other people and the cats well they share the bed with me,

Hi, I completely get how you feel. Have just signed myself up for an evening class in the hope of getting to meet people as well as learning!!.
It can be v tough at times, what area are you in?.
I am trying to get some kind of support set up but proving a real challenge and have not had much interest so far.
Feel free to pm me, we can compare notes on maintaining sanity!!.
Best wishes, thinking of you.

could you ask at your kids school if there is any ways you could help out there? There are lots of charities that are looking for volunteers that wouldn't involve standing for too long.

What sort of work are you looking for?

It would drive me potty as well, I work 3 days a week and would really struggle with loneliness without it.

Have you tried to organise any kind of meet-up in Mumsnet Local?